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***10/9/2013: I have been completely overwhelmed by the number of visitors this post has received in the past few days (over 130,000 at last count!). I am not sure who first shared it — or who continues to share it — but I want to THANK YOU all for visiting, reading, and sharing it. I think the realities of breast cancer are so often trivialized and “pinkified” so I am sincerely grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read or share my blog. I am sorry to say that my story is just one of many, but with your help, we may just be able to do something to change that. Please feel free to leave me a comment or to share your own story below — or send an email: cancerinmythirties@yahoo.com. Thank you all. ***
Peter Griffin / Family Guy “What Grinds My Gears” Episode
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I am not a ranter by any means and I have been pretty quiet about “Pinktober” and what has come to be known as “Pinkwashing” in breast cancer circles, but seeing October 13th advertised as “National No Bra Day” and as a “fun” way to support people with breast cancer has pushed me over the edge.
Are you kidding me? How on earth could a day where girls and women are encouraged to post and share photos of their braless breasts and to walk around with their nipples poking through their shirts be “supportive” for women who are living with or who have died from breast cancer, or who have managed to ‘complete’ the arduous treatments and disfiguring surgeries required to put them into remission?
I think the answer is simple. It is not.
Like so many women–and men–who have faced this disease, I have lost my breasts to cancer. Though I had a terrific surgeon, it was a physically and emotionally disfiguring surgery.
The cancer had gone so deep and was so extensive on my left side that it was at first inoperable. Even after months of chemo, my surgeon took as much tissue and skin as possible and went deep into my axilla (underarm area). The cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes and had invaded them to such a degree that they broke open to allow the cancer cells to go beyond the walls of the nodes. Because of how invasive the surgery was and of how much nerve damage, etc. resulted, it was not only extremely painful then, but continues to be a source of pain and phantom sensations that affect my entire upper torso even today.
I required over a year of physical therapy just to be able to raise my arms again and I still don’t have full function or range of motion. And, because of pain, swelling, conspicuous compression sleeves and gloves, I am constantly reminded of the lymphedema that resulted from the surgery and loss of my lymph nodes. Oh, and the life-threatening infections that forced a couple of hospitalizations and four months of massive doses of antibiotics this summer (almost 2 years after my original surgery), are also a little reminder of some of the things that the bilateral mastectomy and lymph node surgeries have left me with. And there is so much more…
So the thought of seeing bra-less women flaunting two body parts that I have lost to cancer — more than I already see this on a regular day — does not feel all that supportive. In fact, it feels quite the opposite.
I think of myself as an open-minded person. I do my best not to judge others or their beliefs and ideals. I have a pretty good sense of humor and am usually the first to poke fun at myself. And I make light of breast cancer and my struggles, treatments and their side effects, lack of breasts, fear of death, etc. fairly frequently. It is how I cope. But, given what I have been through, I think I have earned the right to joke and make light of how this terrible disease has affected me. But if you haven’t been there or taken care of someone who has been there, then you should think twice before you publicize a day that jokes about putting the first body parts we usually lose to this disease “out there” on display even more conspicuously and then labeling it as an activity that helps our ’cause’.
We live in a society that makes a huge hoopla about breast cancer while at the very same time trivializing the seriousness of the disease. How can we be so contradictory?
While I am beyond thrilled that breast cancer is no longer a taboo issue and that people are talking about it, the commercialism has gotten out of hand. There is nothing pink and rosy about breast cancer, yet it has been pink-washed to death. It is a serious disease that kills.
And while I do think we need more awareness and education (about metastatic disease, about how young women CAN develop breast cancer, about how women (young and not so young) DO die from this disease, about the importance of research, etc.), I don’t think we need the kind of awareness that buying a jar of salsa with a pink ribbon on it brings. While I hardly ever see “awareness” products addressing the topics above, I can’t go anywhere without seeing pink products. Heck, I just have to look out of my front window to see giant pink garbage totes. 
The stores are filled with pink as companies try to make a buck off breast cancer. If you look carefully at these products, you’ll find that some of them don’t even donate a cent to breast cancer awareness, support, research, etc. And oftentimes those that do make a very minimal donation — and not always to organizations/programs where the money is well spent. Case in point — during a recent trip to my grocery store’s pink breast cancer section, I found (after reading the small print) that the maximum per item donation to the breast cancer “cause” was $0.35. An abysmal $0.35 for a $25.00 plastic coffee mug! And, guess what, once that $0.35 reaches “the cause,” a portion of it is lost to overhead, salaries and advertising costs.
One of the most unfortunate issues here is that well-meaning people are willing to buy pink products, even pay a little extra, because they think they are helping to do something to “cure” breast cancer or to provide “hope” to breast cancer patients. Why is this sad? Because those dollars spent on pink key chains, pink beer koozies, pink boxes of crackers and pink plastic water bottles could be going to fund research into metastatic disease, better (and less harmful) treatments, the elusive “cure” and, dare I say it, PREVENTION.
My intention is not to offend or to hurt the feelings of anyone who is genuinely trying to help, but I think it is important for you to know the truth. So please put your bra back on, put down those pink garbage bags (unless you really like pink that much!), that pink “awareness” pepper spray keychain, and that pink breast cancer “awareness” vibrator and dildo (yes, I’m blushing and yes, these are real things that their merchandisers say will “help you raise breast cancer awareness” — though they are shipped discretely in plain, unmarked boxes so no one knows what you purchased) and send a few dollars to an organization that devotes their fundraising dollars to research. You just have to do a bit of homework or read the labels on those pink items to see where your money is actually going. [There are pink products out there that do help to fund research, etc. — they seem to be in the vast minority, but they do exist.]
And, if you don’t like homework, here are a few great organizations — there are many others, but these are some of my favorites:
*** Metavivor.org ***: [A terrific organization…] From support groups to funding vital research, our programs sustain the power of hope. Passionately committed patients ourselves, we rally public attention to the urgent needs of the metastatic breast cancer (MBC) community, help patients find strength through support and purpose, and make EVERY dollar count as we work with researchers to regain longevity with quality of life.
*** http://www.standup2cancer.org/ ***: [Another great one — and it’s not just for breast cancer. Note that your donation will NOT be BREAST CANCER-specific, but will be directed toward multiple cancers. Since you are reading a breast cancer-specific post I know this may or may not be in line with your philanthropic goals, but if it is, SU2C is an excellent choice.] “Our mission is to fund collaborative, translational cancer research to bring treatments from the bench to the bedside faster, and save lives now.” Since Stand Up To Cancer was founded in May 2008, we have granted $161 Million Dollars to ten Dream Teams of scientists and researchers, one international translational research team and 26 high-risk, high-reward Innovative Research Grants. 100% of public funds go directly into research grants. A portion of the funds that are raised from major donations and third-party fundraising go towards administrative expenses and overhead.
Other Important Organizations:
***A number of people diagnosed in my age bracket have emailed or commented about how Young Survival Coalition (YSC) has helped them. This organization is the premier global organization dedicated to the critical issues unique to young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer. Founded in 1998, YSC’s mission is to serve the roughly 13,000 under 40 (often an under-recognized contingent of the breast cancer population) who are diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
YSC helps these young women by providing support and health information to see them from diagnosis to long-term survivorship. The nonprofit tackles issues specific to this population, like early menopause, effects on fertility, more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. From YSC, “compared to older women, young women generally face more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. More and more evidence tells us that breast cancer before age 40 differs biologically from the cancer faced by older women.” Thus, the organization also advocates for increased studies on young women with breast cancer. YSC offers resources, connections and outreach so women feel supported, empowered and hopeful.
***If you are interested in making a difference for through an organization specifically targeting Inflammatory Breast Cancer, I recommend http://www.theibcnetwork.org/: Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a rare and highly fatal form of breast cancer that is not typically discovered by mammogram and often occurs prior to standard breast cancer screening age recommendations. Our all volunteer board is focused on education and funding research for this 200 year old orphaned form of breast cancer. No Lump Still Cancer.
…or consider a group that helps cancer patients and their families cope with their illness. For example:
CancerIsAJerk.org — This is a charity my dear friend jme set up to help families touched by cancer. You can make a financial donation or if you’d like to have a tangible something to wear to show your support, you can purchase a “Cancer Is a Jerk” t-shirts with all proceeds going to help actual families touched by cancer. You can also contact jme through the charity if you’d like to sell shirts as a fundraiser with all proceeds going to benefit cancer family applicants in general OR designate a specific family of your choosing.
And don’t underestimate the value of local organizations. My local Breast Cancer Coalition is a perfect example. The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester‘s mission is to make the eradication of breast cancer a priority through education and advocacy; to empower women and men to participate fully in decisions relating to breast cancer; to provide support to those coping with a breast cancer diagnosis; and to focus research into the causes, prevention, treatment and cure of breast cancer.
Also local for me is The Karen Carson Crane Foundation. Founded by Karen’s siblings after she died of breast cancer, the mission of the Karen Carson Crane Foundation (“the KCC Foundation”) is to provide support and financial assistance for individuals affected by breast cancer; to encourage breast cancer patients to have the strength, courage and passion to overcome their disease; to support local organizations that assist breast cancer patients; and to donate a portion of its fundraising dollars to organizations that research and promote alternative cancer treatment methods.
There are many other great organizations and groups out there — these are just a few.
And if you can’t help with a financial donation, consider volunteering your time or talents. Perhaps to local cancer patients — bringing a meal or knitting a chemo cap or scarf, or sending a cozy blanket are examples of ways to show your support. I remember when a small box of craft supplies was left on my doorstep when I was first going through chemo — what a gift that was — my kids loved it and it kept them occupied for a little while when I was really ill! Or consider volunteering (or providing non-financial support) at/for a local cancer center, hospital oncology floor, or for an organization that helps cancer patients and/or their families. [If you need help with finding a place to volunteer, etc in your area, please email me with your town/city name & I will do my best to help…]. There are many ways to show your support that don’t require $$.
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And, of course, don’t forget to go for your regular mammograms and to feel your breasts when you can (and report any changes to your doctor) because doing these things IS important. It — what I can loosely call a self-breast exam (but which was really just washing myself in the shower) — is how I found my own lumps, about 17 years before I was due for my first mammogram (according to the recommended screening age back in 2009). If I had ignored my lumps and waited for that first screening mammogram, I can safely say I would have been long dead! So please pay attention to your body and your breasts. While the vast majority of lumps are benign, I still believe it’s always best to bring your breast changes to the attention of your doctor. Thanks for reading…
I will leave you with a picture that I believe is my best advertisement for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
- Me — 5 Days post bilateral mastectomy and complete ALND (Axillary Lymph Node Dissection)
Side note: The ACTUAL National No Bra Day is July 9th annually. Someone had the great idea to do a braless day during October — Breast Cancer Awareness Month — to support “the cause.” Adding insult to injury, the day they chose — October 13th — is actually the one day out of the whole year designated for Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness. Sadly, I’ve seen far more No Bra Day awareness advertising circulating around the web than I have Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day info.
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And P.S. — because it seems that clarification is needed for some — this post is NOT about a woman’s choice to wear a bra or not wear a bra. Those comments miss the boat completely. And I do not need a lecture on the merits of going braless. Wear a bra. Don’t wear a bra. That is your choice. Just don’t choose to not wear a bra on one specific day and call it an effort to benefit breast cancer patients or to advance breast cancer research. Raising BREAST AWARENESS you may be, but you are not “supporting BREAST CANCER” by leaving your bra at home.
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cancer in my thirties 
Thank you so much for this post. My mom was diagnosed back in January with invasive ductile carcinoma, which I’m sure are words with which you are familiar, being that you have fought breast cancer yourself. She has spent the past year being pumped with chemo and radiation, stuck in the cycle of cancer treatments while life keeps going on as usual for so many.
You are so right that so many well-intentioned people go out and buy pink products in October and have no idea that the companies they are supporting are making a profit by pink-washing their goods and donating little if nothing at all to actual organizations that support awareness and research about the disease. The concept of the pink ribbon is a beautiful one when companies actually have integrity about what they sell and donate their proceeds to eradicating this disease that has and continues to take so many lives, but it’s disheartening that it has turned into an opportunity for manufacturers to make an extra buck. I wrote a post on my blog the other day about companies that actually follow through and donate their proceeds to cancer organizations, and I was extremely saddened that it took me almost two hours to find just five companies that sell pink ribbon products with 100% of their profits going to cancer organizations.
I applaud you for featuring such a personal photo on your blog; it is such a poignant testament to how life-changing this disease is. My mom also had a double mastectomy and dealt with the pain and trauma- both physical and emotional- that came along with it, and I know that so many people have no clue just what a radical surgery this is.
I told her about your blog this morning and we had a long discussion about how sexualized our culture is and how so many people seem more concerned about “saving the ta-tas” than saving the lives of women diagnosed with this disease. When I told her about “National No Bra Day,” her reaction was very similar to yours. In fact, her response was, “Why? That doesn’t make sense.” I couldn’t agree with the both of you more. In her decision to have a double mastectomy and not have reconstruction, I couldn’t believe all of the questioning responses she has received from people who can’t comprehend that she could possibly exist without her breasts. Can’t they see that the battle is so much bigger?
Anyways, sorry this comment has become a rant. Thank you for such an inspiring post. I will definitely be back to your blog to read more of what you have to say, and I will definitely be passing this one on to my friends and family.
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I absolutely love your writing. I have been through my own story and have blogged about it through the entire journey. I was also inspired by the “no bra” story to post a picture that I have been waiting for the right moment to post. Here’s a link to me:
http://transformerofpoisons.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-things-we-keep-hidden.html
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I so appreciate hearing a different perspective from someone who suffers from this disease. Thank you for helping us all see.
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two and a half years ago , I was diagnosed with cancer from agent orange and had chemo and with one week to go ,I had a reaction to the chemo . I spent 6 months in the hospital , which about 3 months on a vent with 2 collapsed lungs . had 2 cardiac arrests and 3 months recovering at my daughters place . I was told that I would be on oxygen for the rest of my life . mind you at 62 I hiked in the mountains every week that I could . Avid skier . Lived very healthy . worked as a Respiratory Therapist .Now getting back to the story, I finally got home and I was very depressed .Then one day I decided to get off my ass and go as far as my body would let me go . I started walking without oxygen . each day I would go further. well to make a long story shorter ,I now hike . My last hike was 8 miles . I am doing well still have limitations . When hiking I have to break often . my joints hurt a little more . The reason I told my story is cancer really sucks , but don’t give up because you don’t know how far you can go . I not going to tell you it was easy . It was hard and frustrating , but don’t give up .
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Thanks for giving this a voice.
Lots of strength to you in your journey.
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Thank you! It’s hard to watch my sister go through eaxctly what you’re going through, and I’m always trying to cheer her up with food, cards, and (thank God it wasn’t pink) a scarf I got at the finish line of the RACE for the cure. I didn’t know all this 2 weeks ago, and it’s really helped me to understand more of what my sister is really feeling. Thanks again, and I think I’ll start giving to ‘cancerisajerk.org, that one stood out to me. ❤ blessings and quick healing to all of you who are suffering and fighting.
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x Good for you x. For a Breast Cancer campaign this really is the worst of ideas.
Keep on keeping on. x
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Thank you so much! Although I have not had any form of cancer — yet. I have participated in several fundraising activities where large sums of money have been raised in the name of stamping out this dreaded and horrible disease. Doing these activities caused me to become aware of the huge ‘fundraising machine’ that is driving all of this. Almost any time of year you can find a walk, race, or scores of other activities that are organized to supposedly help rid us of the ‘Big C’. Yet surprisingly little progress has been made in comparison to the funds raised. Many people participate because it it charity and it makes us feel that we are helping or because this disease frightens us. In reality a large part of those funds have to go to pay salaries, for the office space, advertising, and so on. Thank you for sharing some organizations that are truly helpful. I would so prefer to make a real donation that will truly go to a place that will actually make some difference.
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I just saw a musical called “Breast in Show”, written from a collection of over 200 breast cancer warriors’ interviews. One of the songs in it talks about hating pink, so your blog struck a nerve. I had my bilateral mastectomy in May of this year. It was the second time cancer had been found in my breasts (first time on left side, this time 2 tumors on the right). I made the decision to do the bilateral because I was not happy with the odds the cancer would return. I feel for you…and am so sorry about all your complications. The surgery itself is bad enough without having complications. I had some complications, but nothing as bad as yours. Right after I was diagnosed, two friends took me to dinner, to help me decide what I wanted to do (though I had already decided). The conversation took a silly turn when Trena asked if I had considered putting tattoos on my chest after recovery. I said actually my daughter and I had talked about a ring of Celtic knots. Trena looked at me and said “NO…SUNFLOWERS!!” We laughed at the image, but then sunflowers became the support tool of my friends. No pink..all sunflowers. They made shirts, a blanket, bought photo frames, a dish, a tin of fake sunflowers…anything they could think of. I was determined to do a musical I had been cast in before the diagnosis if at all possible. It was a small enough part that I thought I could handle it (and did). When that group of friends came to see the performance, they all wore their sunflower shirts, and brought me a huge armload of sunflowers, and they cheered quite loudly when I came out for curtain call. My cast mates loved it as did I. I don’t think I’ll be doing the tattoos…the area of surgery, as you know, is not real pretty and sunflowers won’t change that. However, the support I got from this group allowed me to get through a tough summer. I hope those of you who’ve lost family and friends will find October to be easier as the years go by. It’s such a beautiful month. And I hope those of you who’ve had a difficult recovery will have a time when your pain is eased and life can find a sense of new normal.
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Wish some people would lighten up. Would love not to wear a bra. However, after a mastectomy with reconstruction wear one pretty much 24/7. Love the thought though. Happy No Bra Day! 🙂
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You are so right.,,I could not agree more! I’ve long thought this, but I’m not as articulate as you. Clear, concise and to the point, and without anger. You should be a spokesperson for the Cancer society. My prayers are with you and my donation to stand up to cancer. org instead of a pink ribbon. Love and hope and prayers. xoxo
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Thank you for this – so truthfully and sensitively put! Since when did breast cancer become a stylish disease, anyways? Seems like every time I look around there is some new product making a profit off of an affiliation with “Breast Cancer Awareness”! And I agree totally – why would seeing bra-less women make me feel supported, or better about having had breast cancer! I hate the pink ribbon campaign too. Pink is sweet and little girl nice, not a good colour for the horror of the disease.
If it was as simple as bras being a cause of cancer, because of lymph constriction, as one writer asks, then the cure would be simple, wouldn’t it!
I am a bra-less, non-smoking, 30 yr vegetarian, sports-minded 54 yr old woman, and I had 3rd stage BC when I was 42. I can tolerate the surgery/radiation pain and arm numbness because ~ luckier than most ~ I am still here.
Thank you for your blog, best of luck!
froggie
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Would absolutely love for you all to share these sentiments with our readers on SickOfPink.com. I’m getting ready to post more pics of pinkwashing all over retail and corporate America on the page, Pink Ribbon Overload. <3, Karen and ChemoChick
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yes i was one of the many who reposted and got in some face book fights for doing so . Having said that email me if you want a copy of my book “Dude I Think Your Mom Healed Me” I will send it to you free. full of testimonies of healing and how to get the promises off the pages of the Bible. It is my journey of getting the principles of healing (supernatural/Biblical) to work in me and my kids) There is no terminal illness. You are awesome just need your address if you want it. See it on my website: BetsyB.tv my email me@betsyb.tv
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People can always donate to Planned Parenthood. They offer clinical breast exams, pelvic exams, and other healthcare for women who may not have access to it otherwise.
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Thank you so much for your candidness and honesty. I am just finishing my last phase of radiation after a double mastectomy due to cancer and lymph node involvement. It’s not a pretty disease and it leaves tough scars. I agree with you wholeheartedly. Well said. Thank you!
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Thank you for opening my eyes! I sincerely hope you are getting better.
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Diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer (spleen, spine) in June 2011. 16 chemotherapy treatments, surgery and 35 radiation treatments – have been cancer free for 1 1/2 years! I refused to wear anything pink and get very angry when people say anything like “you fought hard”….like people who died didn’t fight hard??? The American Cancer Society was a big help to me during my treatment.
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With three daughters, I am so sick of bright pink. I hate the pinkwashing, too. Thanks for sharing that last photo and all of this. I haven’t had cancer and no one in my close family has, but I’m interested in preventing it and helping people. The movie Pink Ribbons, Inc. is really important. The knowledge that diet is extremely powerful is even more important. Read this http://www.diseaseproof.com/archives/breast-cancer-fight-breast-cancer-with-gbombs.html and anything else by Dr. Joel Fuhrman, and The China Study. 🙂
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Thank you and God bless you. Praying for a full and fast recovery … and a cure. My mom was diagnosed at Stage 4 and she too, became pink-weary. You’re fighting the good fight.
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You are one strong ass woman, and I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve never had an unfortunate experience with cancer like your own, but I think that this “no bra” day makes a mockery of the trials that someone diagnosed with breast cancer has to face. It is ludicrous to think that walking around with your breasts hanging out is supportive of people with breast cancer, or breast cancer survivors. Thank you so much for the insight, and I’ll definitely call out anyone who so much as mentions national no bra day.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. My mother is a first year breast cancer survivor. She had a double mastectomy and her lymph nodes removed, also. The original plastic surgeon completely decimated her chest. She had 3 surgeries in 1 month to try to fix what he did. On top of that, during the second surgery she contracted pseudomonas, a hospital born infection. She had the infection for over 2 months he refused to run any blood tests to see what type she had. Eventually, she became so sick, she had to be admittedly to the hospital for heavy duty iv antibiotics.then into a nursing home for wound care. For a total of 6 months she had deep open wounds. It has taken us a year to find another plastic surgeon who would even touch her (her scar tissue is so bad, every dr said she was a liability) finally, today, she had the first, of what we hope is the last, series of treatments to reconstruct her chest. Through all of this, my mother kept her spirits up. She is an inspiration to me and the rest of my family. Hopefully, she can be for you as well.
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Thanks so much for posting this! I too am a survivor and unfortunately was diagnosed in the month of October two years ago with breast cancer so I truly do not like the month of October as it is a constant reminder. I truly feel that people need to be educated where their money goes for “the pink gimmick items”, so I thank you once again for your post. As well, I had not heard of no bra day, I think it is in poor taste an interferes with the positive message of BRA Day, education of Breast Reconstruction Awareness Day.
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Have you heard of the China Study? The researcher basically found out that high amounts of animal protein (and sugar) turned cancer on and lower amounts turned it off. Complementary cancer treatments can be very helpful (in the care of a health professional such as a integrative physician). I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon.
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What an incredible perspective, and thank you. My favorite woman in the whole world just finished up her chemo about 6 months ago after her double mastectomy; my wife is my hero and I’ve never seen such strength and courage and such a positive attitude in anyone as I have from her…she is dear and cancer has FAR from broken her. As has been stated many times above, there is nothing cute about breast cancer or JP drains, or narcotics, or neutropenic fever or any of it. I applaud your boldness, and appreciate you saying what many are thinking. I don’t inherently have an issue with pink, but it drives me up the wall when companies who produce something in support of breast cancer, or in an effort to raise awareness of it then don’t actually forward that money to ACS or another like-organization. My words would just be to be aware of where your money goes – women like my wife did receive help, wigs, etc from organizations like the American Cancer Society so for them I’m extremely grateful. There are many organizations out there that are worth your finances.
You look beautiful in that photo you posted, thanks for taking the time and having the courage.
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While I totally agree that we pinkwash way too much, and I love your post, I thought that no bra day was one of the more sensible things that supported breast cancer awareness since there have been implications of bras/too tight of bras being a contributing factor to breast cancer.
I understand where you are coming from, though, and it gives me something to think about.
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Thank you for your post. I’m two months post breast cancer treatments myself, and I agree with you on your thoughts about the NO BRA DAY, that doesn’t mean anything. What I have found out that a lot of the Breast Cancer Hype is just that Hype. All they want is money for research, but there is so much more that is involved, families that don’t know how they are going to get help to pay for the their treatments and believe me they are not cheap and they aren’t free either. So if you want to help, help close to home, check with your local Cancer Centers they can guide you to ones that need the help , and it goes to the families where it is needed most. .
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Thank you for your heartfelt and thought-provoking post. I especially appreciate your listing of organizations those interested in getting the biggest “bang for their buck” might consider supporting with a donation. This is important information, especially for those of us with severely limited financial resources who would nevertheless like to contribute toward an eventual cure for this devastating disease. Best wishes for your future health….
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I am with you. I had bilateral mastectomies in my thirties too. But mine were prophylactic. Talk about people thinking you are nuts! Well, 22 years later I am here. I HATE the pink thing. I have lost so many friends to breast cancer. My mission: educate women about reconstruction. I wrote a book called Flying Backwards. It is detailed and has photos of the REAL truth. Google my name, Dianna Walker-McPhail to see it on amazon. And guess what? No one in the medical world has bought one to share with their patients! Not even at cost!! Get well please!
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If you have not already. I think you would find – of interest – the book “Illness As Metaphor” by Susan Sontag, who also addresses the creation of the visual in disease. Sontag was a cancer survivor as well, and wrote a personal as well as poignant reflection, and although written decades ago, serves to create questions in our relationship to disease today.
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You just put into words everything I think and feel about October. I spent 6 years watching this disease attack my sister. Despite that I will very clearly state to anyone and everyone: breast cancer did not kill my sister. Lack of affordable did.
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Very well said! Best of luck (and health) to you.
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blessings on you, very brave lady. Thank you for your intelligent insight; this helps me better understand what my friends – and you- have been through. Very necessary reading.
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I can’t thank you enough for putting into words what I have been trying to say since my diagnosis over 3 years ago. Thank you
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Great and very powerful post. I would only add one thing. Is if people want to help others/themselves out even more, they should stop buying the products that put themselves at greater risk of developing cancer. Many of these products are even the things covered with all the “pink” and advertising. Give it to a legitimate organization like you said, and stop buying commercialized crap that doesn’t do anyone any good.
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This is all so true. I lost a daughter at 38 to breast cancer. She left behind two sons. One of which will never remember anything about her. I have hated all of the pink crap from the get go. I thought it was just me. God bless you and all of the other women getting treated or have been treated for breast cancer.
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I didn’t know. Thank you for informing me. I hope that as time goes on, you will face less and less complications.
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I commend you as I was initially thinking the same thing “How does putting your breasts out there support those who have gone through or are going through mastectomies due to breast cancer???”. I agree that WAY too many women (and men) have been afflicted by breast cancer. I have friends who are survivors and due to the numbers of survivors rising (still prefer that a cure is found) people who don’t have a personal connection with someone who has gone through surgery and/or treatment of breast cancer don’t really know what you go through. Therefore I also commend you for posting your hospital picture because this is what a lot of people don’t see. I work in a hospital and do see it. The surgery is not pretty but is necessary for survival. You and all others who have endured it are truly amazing people.
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Thank you so much for your voice. Thank you.
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Thank you so much for posting. I am a stage 3 breast cancer survivor who underwent a mastectomy at the age of 29. I have been bothered by things like this especially organizations whose motto is “save the ta’tas” or “I love boobies”. Seriously, it was those very ta’tas and boobies that almost took my life. Quite frankly I would like a shirt that says “I hate boobies…they almost killed me” or “good riddens to ta’tas, they are killers”.
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God Bless you. Thank you for your article. People mean well and don’t realize they are not helping… I have been unknowingly guilty of it… And it takes a strong person to stand up and make it clear. I admire your courage and your strength. I pray you feel a little better everyday inside and outside.
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I think that the sexualization of breast cancer is pervasive in our society and utterly frightening, and I really commend you for sharing your personal experiences and commenting on this fact. I remember when the I Love Boobies campaign started and suddenly it became incredibly à la mode to wear bracelets and have bumper stickers showing your support for breast cancer survivors and people who have breast cancer, but reflecting on that recently and now, in light of reading this post, it’s become apparent that the uneducated mass has become too concerned with saving precious breasts and not curing/researching cancer. In my mind, breast cancer awareness has become too much about saving breasts and sexualizing the cancer instead of focusing, like other cancers, on researching. We don’t see people saying save the balls for prostate cancer. Perhaps this is turning into too much of a rant on sexualization of women and women with cancer, but it’s important, and breast cancer is an important front to fight.
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Thank you for your story. May God Bless you. I had breast cancer 14 years ago, had chemo, did not know anything about reconstruction I have talked with several people who have had the reconstruction done, glad I didn’t know about it at the time. May God be with you. Love in Christ
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My best friend is 3 years out. She is doing well now…thank God! But she hates pink. She doesn’t want a bunch of pink ribbons around her or people to buy her pink stuff just because of her breast cancer. She doesn’t want to be defined by it. She said she is way more than a breast cancer survivor. That is the very smallest part of her. So yeah…she has a few pink things with ribbons on them. And she walks every year in the 5K in her city proudly wearing her “survivor t-shirt” but that’s it. I have another friend who just passed away in July. She lived her entire life through pink. It did define her and it was a large part of her life. And eventually it took her life. Both strong women who looked at that pink ribbon very differently with very different outcomes. God bless you sweet lady.
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