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***10/9/2013: I have been completely overwhelmed by the number of visitors this post has received in the past few days (over 130,000 at last count!). I am not sure who first shared it — or who continues to share it — but I want to THANK YOU all for visiting, reading, and sharing it. I think the realities of breast cancer are so often trivialized and “pinkified” so I am sincerely grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read or share my blog. I am sorry to say that my story is just one of many, but with your help, we may just be able to do something to change that. Please feel free to leave me a comment or to share your own story below — or send an email: cancerinmythirties@yahoo.com. Thank you all. ***
Peter Griffin / Family Guy “What Grinds My Gears” Episode
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I am not a ranter by any means and I have been pretty quiet about “Pinktober” and what has come to be known as “Pinkwashing” in breast cancer circles, but seeing October 13th advertised as “National No Bra Day” and as a “fun” way to support people with breast cancer has pushed me over the edge.
Are you kidding me? How on earth could a day where girls and women are encouraged to post and share photos of their braless breasts and to walk around with their nipples poking through their shirts be “supportive” for women who are living with or who have died from breast cancer, or who have managed to ‘complete’ the arduous treatments and disfiguring surgeries required to put them into remission?
I think the answer is simple. It is not.
Like so many women–and men–who have faced this disease, I have lost my breasts to cancer. Though I had a terrific surgeon, it was a physically and emotionally disfiguring surgery.
The cancer had gone so deep and was so extensive on my left side that it was at first inoperable. Even after months of chemo, my surgeon took as much tissue and skin as possible and went deep into my axilla (underarm area). The cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes and had invaded them to such a degree that they broke open to allow the cancer cells to go beyond the walls of the nodes. Because of how invasive the surgery was and of how much nerve damage, etc. resulted, it was not only extremely painful then, but continues to be a source of pain and phantom sensations that affect my entire upper torso even today.
I required over a year of physical therapy just to be able to raise my arms again and I still don’t have full function or range of motion. And, because of pain, swelling, conspicuous compression sleeves and gloves, I am constantly reminded of the lymphedema that resulted from the surgery and loss of my lymph nodes. Oh, and the life-threatening infections that forced a couple of hospitalizations and four months of massive doses of antibiotics this summer (almost 2 years after my original surgery), are also a little reminder of some of the things that the bilateral mastectomy and lymph node surgeries have left me with. And there is so much more…
So the thought of seeing bra-less women flaunting two body parts that I have lost to cancer — more than I already see this on a regular day — does not feel all that supportive. In fact, it feels quite the opposite.
I think of myself as an open-minded person. I do my best not to judge others or their beliefs and ideals. I have a pretty good sense of humor and am usually the first to poke fun at myself. And I make light of breast cancer and my struggles, treatments and their side effects, lack of breasts, fear of death, etc. fairly frequently. It is how I cope. But, given what I have been through, I think I have earned the right to joke and make light of how this terrible disease has affected me. But if you haven’t been there or taken care of someone who has been there, then you should think twice before you publicize a day that jokes about putting the first body parts we usually lose to this disease “out there” on display even more conspicuously and then labeling it as an activity that helps our ’cause’.
We live in a society that makes a huge hoopla about breast cancer while at the very same time trivializing the seriousness of the disease. How can we be so contradictory?
While I am beyond thrilled that breast cancer is no longer a taboo issue and that people are talking about it, the commercialism has gotten out of hand. There is nothing pink and rosy about breast cancer, yet it has been pink-washed to death. It is a serious disease that kills.
And while I do think we need more awareness and education (about metastatic disease, about how young women CAN develop breast cancer, about how women (young and not so young) DO die from this disease, about the importance of research, etc.), I don’t think we need the kind of awareness that buying a jar of salsa with a pink ribbon on it brings. While I hardly ever see “awareness” products addressing the topics above, I can’t go anywhere without seeing pink products. Heck, I just have to look out of my front window to see giant pink garbage totes. 
The stores are filled with pink as companies try to make a buck off breast cancer. If you look carefully at these products, you’ll find that some of them don’t even donate a cent to breast cancer awareness, support, research, etc. And oftentimes those that do make a very minimal donation — and not always to organizations/programs where the money is well spent. Case in point — during a recent trip to my grocery store’s pink breast cancer section, I found (after reading the small print) that the maximum per item donation to the breast cancer “cause” was $0.35. An abysmal $0.35 for a $25.00 plastic coffee mug! And, guess what, once that $0.35 reaches “the cause,” a portion of it is lost to overhead, salaries and advertising costs.
One of the most unfortunate issues here is that well-meaning people are willing to buy pink products, even pay a little extra, because they think they are helping to do something to “cure” breast cancer or to provide “hope” to breast cancer patients. Why is this sad? Because those dollars spent on pink key chains, pink beer koozies, pink boxes of crackers and pink plastic water bottles could be going to fund research into metastatic disease, better (and less harmful) treatments, the elusive “cure” and, dare I say it, PREVENTION.
My intention is not to offend or to hurt the feelings of anyone who is genuinely trying to help, but I think it is important for you to know the truth. So please put your bra back on, put down those pink garbage bags (unless you really like pink that much!), that pink “awareness” pepper spray keychain, and that pink breast cancer “awareness” vibrator and dildo (yes, I’m blushing and yes, these are real things that their merchandisers say will “help you raise breast cancer awareness” — though they are shipped discretely in plain, unmarked boxes so no one knows what you purchased) and send a few dollars to an organization that devotes their fundraising dollars to research. You just have to do a bit of homework or read the labels on those pink items to see where your money is actually going. [There are pink products out there that do help to fund research, etc. — they seem to be in the vast minority, but they do exist.]
And, if you don’t like homework, here are a few great organizations — there are many others, but these are some of my favorites:
*** Metavivor.org ***: [A terrific organization…] From support groups to funding vital research, our programs sustain the power of hope. Passionately committed patients ourselves, we rally public attention to the urgent needs of the metastatic breast cancer (MBC) community, help patients find strength through support and purpose, and make EVERY dollar count as we work with researchers to regain longevity with quality of life.
*** http://www.standup2cancer.org/ ***: [Another great one — and it’s not just for breast cancer. Note that your donation will NOT be BREAST CANCER-specific, but will be directed toward multiple cancers. Since you are reading a breast cancer-specific post I know this may or may not be in line with your philanthropic goals, but if it is, SU2C is an excellent choice.] “Our mission is to fund collaborative, translational cancer research to bring treatments from the bench to the bedside faster, and save lives now.” Since Stand Up To Cancer was founded in May 2008, we have granted $161 Million Dollars to ten Dream Teams of scientists and researchers, one international translational research team and 26 high-risk, high-reward Innovative Research Grants. 100% of public funds go directly into research grants. A portion of the funds that are raised from major donations and third-party fundraising go towards administrative expenses and overhead.
Other Important Organizations:
***A number of people diagnosed in my age bracket have emailed or commented about how Young Survival Coalition (YSC) has helped them. This organization is the premier global organization dedicated to the critical issues unique to young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer. Founded in 1998, YSC’s mission is to serve the roughly 13,000 under 40 (often an under-recognized contingent of the breast cancer population) who are diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
YSC helps these young women by providing support and health information to see them from diagnosis to long-term survivorship. The nonprofit tackles issues specific to this population, like early menopause, effects on fertility, more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. From YSC, “compared to older women, young women generally face more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. More and more evidence tells us that breast cancer before age 40 differs biologically from the cancer faced by older women.” Thus, the organization also advocates for increased studies on young women with breast cancer. YSC offers resources, connections and outreach so women feel supported, empowered and hopeful.
***If you are interested in making a difference for through an organization specifically targeting Inflammatory Breast Cancer, I recommend http://www.theibcnetwork.org/: Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a rare and highly fatal form of breast cancer that is not typically discovered by mammogram and often occurs prior to standard breast cancer screening age recommendations. Our all volunteer board is focused on education and funding research for this 200 year old orphaned form of breast cancer. No Lump Still Cancer.
…or consider a group that helps cancer patients and their families cope with their illness. For example:
CancerIsAJerk.org — This is a charity my dear friend jme set up to help families touched by cancer. You can make a financial donation or if you’d like to have a tangible something to wear to show your support, you can purchase a “Cancer Is a Jerk” t-shirts with all proceeds going to help actual families touched by cancer. You can also contact jme through the charity if you’d like to sell shirts as a fundraiser with all proceeds going to benefit cancer family applicants in general OR designate a specific family of your choosing.
And don’t underestimate the value of local organizations. My local Breast Cancer Coalition is a perfect example. The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester‘s mission is to make the eradication of breast cancer a priority through education and advocacy; to empower women and men to participate fully in decisions relating to breast cancer; to provide support to those coping with a breast cancer diagnosis; and to focus research into the causes, prevention, treatment and cure of breast cancer.
Also local for me is The Karen Carson Crane Foundation. Founded by Karen’s siblings after she died of breast cancer, the mission of the Karen Carson Crane Foundation (“the KCC Foundation”) is to provide support and financial assistance for individuals affected by breast cancer; to encourage breast cancer patients to have the strength, courage and passion to overcome their disease; to support local organizations that assist breast cancer patients; and to donate a portion of its fundraising dollars to organizations that research and promote alternative cancer treatment methods.
There are many other great organizations and groups out there — these are just a few.
And if you can’t help with a financial donation, consider volunteering your time or talents. Perhaps to local cancer patients — bringing a meal or knitting a chemo cap or scarf, or sending a cozy blanket are examples of ways to show your support. I remember when a small box of craft supplies was left on my doorstep when I was first going through chemo — what a gift that was — my kids loved it and it kept them occupied for a little while when I was really ill! Or consider volunteering (or providing non-financial support) at/for a local cancer center, hospital oncology floor, or for an organization that helps cancer patients and/or their families. [If you need help with finding a place to volunteer, etc in your area, please email me with your town/city name & I will do my best to help…]. There are many ways to show your support that don’t require $$.
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And, of course, don’t forget to go for your regular mammograms and to feel your breasts when you can (and report any changes to your doctor) because doing these things IS important. It — what I can loosely call a self-breast exam (but which was really just washing myself in the shower) — is how I found my own lumps, about 17 years before I was due for my first mammogram (according to the recommended screening age back in 2009). If I had ignored my lumps and waited for that first screening mammogram, I can safely say I would have been long dead! So please pay attention to your body and your breasts. While the vast majority of lumps are benign, I still believe it’s always best to bring your breast changes to the attention of your doctor. Thanks for reading…
I will leave you with a picture that I believe is my best advertisement for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
- Me — 5 Days post bilateral mastectomy and complete ALND (Axillary Lymph Node Dissection)
Side note: The ACTUAL National No Bra Day is July 9th annually. Someone had the great idea to do a braless day during October — Breast Cancer Awareness Month — to support “the cause.” Adding insult to injury, the day they chose — October 13th — is actually the one day out of the whole year designated for Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness. Sadly, I’ve seen far more No Bra Day awareness advertising circulating around the web than I have Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day info.
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And P.S. — because it seems that clarification is needed for some — this post is NOT about a woman’s choice to wear a bra or not wear a bra. Those comments miss the boat completely. And I do not need a lecture on the merits of going braless. Wear a bra. Don’t wear a bra. That is your choice. Just don’t choose to not wear a bra on one specific day and call it an effort to benefit breast cancer patients or to advance breast cancer research. Raising BREAST AWARENESS you may be, but you are not “supporting BREAST CANCER” by leaving your bra at home.
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cancer in my thirties 
You are a wonderful WOMAN!!! i am one of seven sisters who saw their mother struggle for many year with this decease. when the doctors said she would only live about six months to a year.
one day she went in for a biopsy and woke up with out a breast and with the surprise that the next day they had to take the other one. she went clear for five years, but the cancer came back twice. until she did not wanted to fight no more, all she wanted was to spend her last days with her daughters. and yes I’m one of those people that every october buy something pink for myself or my house, i don’t decorate for halloween. but i always have something pink, so i want to thank you for your courage to speak up and make us aware of this horrible companies that instead of helping in the fight they take advantage of it.
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have read your story and am very sorry you had to endure so much, I am happy you are a Survivor of this horrible Disease and understand how you are feeling about any Cancer and how more Research is needed, my ?? is, had you not got Cancer, would you still feel as passionate as you do about the lack of funding for a cure, for any disease?? if you choose not to reply that is fine, I am just wondering!!
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Can I say I’ve been feeling this way for a while, but didn’t have it thought out enough to feel secure in saying it? It doesn’t help that I’m a guy (though I know, as you mentioned, guys do get it too). My mother in law, who is a truly terrific person, is now in remission. They caught it early, with her help, and she was fortunate. Other than having cancer in America, but that’s a cost thing. But, the fact remains that it would have killed her if it had been ignored. And certainly it was hard to tell just how bad it was till they got in there (and it was worse than they though- but still not bad). I don’t know, you probably get to hear these stories all the time, and probably ones with relatively happy endings like this… Maybe because it’s 3 in the morning and it’s better than arguing politics with strangers. Ach… I feel like there is some reason I’m blabbing on but frankly I’m too sleep drunk to know. I hope this reaches you well.
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I only have one breast, so l’m willing to show the reality of that and go bra-less. I doubt if anyone will notice as warmer clothing is a must.
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Excellent post. I am a Survivor too, getting diagnosed in Feb. 2009, the day after my husband finished his radiation (and horrible inpatient chemo) for Liposarcoma. We both battled cancer for 15 consecutive months and are here today! It was AMAZING how little is known about Sarcoma and how incredibly rare, deadly that cancer is. We had no idea about Sarcoma until he was diagnosed in July 2008 and then we quickly learned more than we wanted to know. But, when I was starting my treatment, it was unreal how much literature I received for Breast Cancer, plus a surgery pillow, pink goodie bag and all the support I could ever want. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is absolutely amazing how much research has happened in the past 15 years or so, for Breast Cancer, but, what about all the other Cancers out there? All of it sucks, period. While my husband and I were going through our treatments, a high school girl we came to know, was diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma, she was 16, ran Cross Country and Track, played Basketball, a beautiful young woman with her life ahead of her, and in 13 months, she passed away.
So, with all that being said, I totally agree. I think Breast Cancer awareness is great and what the research has done to help the treatment of this horrible disease. I, too, tire of all the Pink, just so companies can profit from it, and, ALL Cancer needs this kind of attention, there’s nothing good about it!
Here are the links to our blogs if you are interested (I only kept mine for a year, my husband still keeps his active and is able to help many others going through his type of Cancer):
http://dnovak-liposarcoma.blogspot.com/
http://hhnbreastcancer.blogspot.com/
Best wishes!
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I recently lost my 20 year old son after a four year battle with rhabdomyosarcoma. I share your sentiments about the plethura of pink that the marketers use to get people to buy products. It is evident that big business jumped on the pink bandwagon…I won’t buy pink products. I do donate, through Consano.org which was started by a breast cancer survivor, (Molly) who set up a menu of reseachers and their projects and gives the donor the opportunity to support specific research…I donate to support researchers specifically targeting rhabdo, There is breast cancer research too, along. Real projects, real researchers, real stories….Please check it out. It is quite inspiring and empowering.
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Thank you so much for this post. I try so hard to explain to people how pinkwashing isn’t helping those with cancer, and often my words fall on deaf ears. Bless you, and thank you.
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I too am so tired of money going toward ‘awareness’ Who isn’t aware of this deadly disease? Let’s just cure it.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am an Avon Representative and fairly new at the job. We are always getting items that say if we purchase these things a certain amount goes to the Cancer Foundation. I’m always skeptical of these kinds of advertisements. I lost a wonderful friend years ago to breast cancer at the young age of 58. It was terrible ! I totally agree that this’ Pink Stuff ‘is a hideous slap in the face to those who suffer it’s raptures. Please industries think before you act. Why make these beautiful women suffer anymore. Keep your breast covered & don’t give the men the peep show I’m sure their all hoping for. Where is our dignity? If a company says it supports a Cancer Foundation than do it 100% not through it a few crumbs & say that you are. Your a flat out liar whose hurting the whole organization. My very best to you sweetie. My prayers are with you & all the brave women that survive this brutal beast that takes so many lives.
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A good friend of mine posted this yesterday and I was taken back. She is a survivor of stage 4 breast cancer. It was a very rough battle for two years. Now my mother in law is fighting for her life. Never in a million years did I think that “pink” would be so upsetting to a fighter and a survivor. Thank you for sharing your perspective. I always thought I was helping and spreading the word, trying to bring awareness to the topic…this was very eye opening. While I still think it is good that October is breast cancer awareness month and a lot more attention has been brought to the issue, I totally respect what you are saying and feel …and I will definitely be more aware moving forward. God Bless you!
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I pray for your full recovery and know you are an inspiration to all.
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Thank you for opening my eyes to the “Pinkification” of breast cancer, and for bravely sharing such an intimate photo of yourself at such a vulnerable time. I’m keeping my bra on (Everyone will thank me later) lol and find more tangible ways to be supportive of those who are battling this terrible disease. God bless you. 🙂
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Thank you for sharing! I am a 41 yr old breast cancer survivor and am bothered by all the pink and everyone trying to sell it and promote support of breast cancer even in my kids schools. For most it is just an advertising gimmick and does little to fight cancer. I thought it was just me but I am glad to know others share my opinion.
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Agree! Thank you. Your story is my story right down to the permanent damage and long term after effects, stress and worry. Your picture is the real picture of what breast cancer is about, and nothing to trivialize, cash in on, or take advantage of. Stay strong and well. Peace.
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First I’d like to say that you are a brave brave woman! I have been there myself…(only one breast removed, tho) I lost my left breast and part of my right…I had 23 lymph nodes removed…18 were cancerous. I have a 70% chance of the cancer returning as it was stage 3, triple neg., inflammatory.
Not good….I HATE the no bra day thing…surely that was a man who came up w/ that brilliant idea!
I still do not have full range of movement in my left arm, I still have a lot of pain where the nerves were cut to get to the nodes. There was so much outter skin involved that muscle and tissue had to be pulled together tightly. I wear a prosthesis. One given to me. I am not ashamed of my loss. Tho I don’t flaunt it! Most would never know if I didn’t live in a tiny little town. (which btw was totally supportive…yes..the town. Not to mention co-workers and most of all my husband!!!!!) I think the ignorance of some people is truly amazing sometimes! AND most of those ‘pink’ baubles you buy do NOT help find a cure! Don’t be fooled…if you really want to help someone be with them, go shopping or dust the top of the fridge, PRAY for them …give a gift of cash to the ‘victim’…Then you KNOW that you are helping…That’s what my husband and I do now when we can.
I applaud this picture! I think that perhaps people will see that this ain’t no joke!! I loved the little bag of gunk that has to be measured! The pain, embarrassment when your clothing doesn’t work. The one good bra you have is not clean…
But I have my wonderful family, husband and the Lord Jesus to carry me thru!
I love life! LaVeda Riggs!
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Well said You are a true hero 🙂
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Thank you. I could have WRITTEN this, with the exception of a few details. As I sit at my desk this morning, looking at my right arm that’s about an inch bigger around than the left, I need to find help for the lymphedma that’s just now becoming a problem after my bi-lateral with ANLD four years ago. I wish I HAD written this. I may STILL write about my experience, but you’d better believe, I will be SHARING THIS!!
THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!!
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Yours is the 3rd wordpress post that I have shared on my FB page – this corporate pinking of October is absurd and that No Bra day insulting. Strength and love from a stranger!!!
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Just wanted to say thanks. I have lymph nodes removed, then chemo, then the mastectomy, so I can relate. I was 41, not in my 30s, but I like to think of myself as immature. 🙂 🙂
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I also think that “Save the ta tas” is not at all appropriate! It needs to stop! I am blessed with health but I am moved by your honesty and am thankful for your honesty! God bless you and send you health!
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I fully intend to post a link to this every time I see someone posting some “no-bra” garbage on Facebook. Thank you for this. Your courage and fortitude is inspiring. Peace and love and health to you.
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My sister died very young from what was originally diagnosed as stage 1 breast cancer. We found out after her death that her oncologist had told her that she had a rare and particularly aggressive form of cancer. Since we did not know this we expected that she would have a full recovery. She left an 11 year old daughter behind her. I think her death was the first time I had cried in years. To me, the pink lollapolooza is belittliing.
I would also like to add that more women in the US die of lung cancer than breast cancer. Lung cancer is the number one cancer killer of both men and women and the least funded. I hope we all can get on the ball to support research to stop this very dangerous and extremely virulent form of cancer. All cancer is bad and we should support victims of all forms.
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You made me think. Here’s what I wrote after thinking. https://www.facebook.com/erinmcmahon/posts/10152254513633976
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I was diagnosed in 2011 of stage 2 breast cancer, and I too am getting a little tired of the sea of pink. It was suddenly assumed that it was my favorite color for awhile. I don’t know how useful all this “awareness” is, but I’m glad Stand Up 2 Cancer is a good one. I’ve donated to them.
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While I can be sympathetic to your point of view regarding No Bra Day (or whatever it’s called), and I’m very much in the “think before you pink” camp, I also think you may be missing an essential part of the point to the going-braless thing. Not wearing a bra isn’t necessarily about letting ourselves go free to somehow “support” women with breast cancer. To me, it’s about raising awareness that not wearing a bra can actually PREVENT breast cancer. By participating in and talking about No Bra Day, I’m trying to raise awareness that this ridiculous piece of apparel we wear (and somehow all think we NEED, in spite of the fact that there is nothing wrong with our breasts in their natural, unfettered state) is actually PART OF THE PROBLEM. Women in our culture are convinced that they will offend someone or “put someone’s eye out” if they don’t wear a bra, but that’s a b.s. cultural idea we’ve all bought into for far too long. If more women knew that our bras are actually making us sick by blocking lymph flow, causing muscle atrophy and back/neck pain, and any number of other problems, perhaps we could all walk around a little less constricted and more empowered when it comes to seeing bra-wearing as an intervention that disturbs our body’s natural ability to take care of itself. Breast cancer and bra-wearing are actually not unrelated, and going braless isn’t my way of offering fake support for women with breast cancer. It’s about raising awareness about a very real preventive measure. (I just attended a lactation conference a couple weeks ago, and Diane Wiessinger got me all fired up with an entire presentation about the potential health risks of bras.)
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I, too, agree that this “Pinktober” movement is beyond disgusting – and why can’t every month be washed in the color of its corresponding cancer? I fully support and agree with research and would be fine donating my money if I knew it was really going to that…but when I walk through the grocery store and see merchandise emblazoned with pink ribbons, I pretty much know that none of my dollars or cents from that purchase will make it to a real research organization, so therefore I won’t buy that product. Too many people are on the pink bandwagon and it drives me crazy. Why isn’t the NFL supporting testicular cancer? Brain cancer? Lung cancer? It all comes down to money and that’s just sad. I like the color pink, but for heaven’s sake, let me like it for the color that it is. Not because it’s supposed to remind me of breast cancer research/awareness/etc. Thank you for your sharing your story and your opinions.
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Thank you so much!
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I too have had breast cancer and a mastectomy. I love the pink and love that it is everywhere because it speaks loudly about women supporting women. It now speaks of men supporting the women in their lives who have suffered with this ugly disfiguring disease. Thank you NFL for putting the pink on your players and letting us know once again that we are not fighting this battle alone…you are all with us and support us. Thanks Delta and all companies out there who have supported us by displaying pink and letting us know you care.
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Perfect! Thank you! I shared too! ❤️
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Thank you for your post. I went through a double mastectomy this past June and am scheduled for reconstructive surgery at the end of this month. When I tell people that I didn’t need chemo, most of them joyfully gush about how “lucky” I am. I’m pretty sure these are people who have not been through the surgery, and I doubt that they would feel lucky if they received a diagnosis of breast cancer. Still, I would never say that out loud. I do feel lucky that my cancer was caught so early and that it hadn’t spread, but I wouldn’t wish it on anyone! I do agree with you that the pinkification trivializes the issue and takes the focus away from raising funds for research. If I ran into a group of women going braless to “support the cause”, I’m pretty sure I would burst into tears.
Wishing you peace and comfort during your incredibly hard journey!
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Thank you for this. You are an inspiration.
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Thank you for your honesty. My situation is not the same but I get why people think they are helping with going “pink” but it is all the behind the scenes is what your life is about. No one thinks about all you endure each day and for so long afterwards. It is like out of site out of mind. I hope beyond all hope that the powers that be will finally produce better cures and aftercare for this terrible disease that hurts everyone.
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Thanks for the spot on analysis. This: I had one mastectomy with an axillary lymph node excision (2005) which left my side so sensitive, sore, puffy, I can not wear a bra. The pressure is too painful. I am Stage IV since 2012 with mets in my colon, peritoneal (and mesentery) carcinomatosis, spine and eyes. Pink sucks.
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P.S. I think you are beautiful right after your surgery and also the picture on your blog.
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Cancerinmythirties, I am Denton.
I got Leukemia when I was sixteen, two years ago. I find everything you say to be exactly how I feel as well. Sometimes it is so irritating when people joke around or make like of cancer in any form, when only a certain few can really relate.
And those few die off every year…
But even with the scars on our hull, this ship will carry on. Thank you for the stark truth revealed to us here.
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My 27 year old daughter shared a similar hell with you except she died two months ago, sixteen months after her diagnosis. Breast cancer is a hideously wicked disease and its victims suffer indescribable pain, fear and loss. Your courage is legendary-hers was too. May your healing be complete and your life happy again.
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I was 32 for the first one in 1986. I have learned to hate pink in the last 30 years – and heck – I have been living without a bra since 1994 when I had the second mastectomy. I hate ignorant fools. After all I’ve experienced, you would think my friends would know better than to participate in what I refer to as “this kind of stupidity”. They don’t. I now view my “friends” quite differently. I don’t even know you, hon, and I love you tremendously for your forthright views. You took the words right out of my mouth.
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Thank you for saying, what I have been thinking for years. I was diagnosed at the age of 37, with no family history. I was still nursing my one year old when I discovered the lump in my left breast. Luckily for me, I was determined to get quality answers, when I was told by doctors that 37 year olds rarely get breast cancer and that it was a blocked milk duct. I knew it wasn’t. So did my 18 lymph nodes that it had spread to. I am blessed to still be here, six years later. I’m not sure that many thought I would be. Most certainly, I didn’t. Thankfully for Herceptin and Zometa, I continue to beat the odds, and raise our three boys. Research saved my life. Pink Dysons and pink panini makers, did not. There have been some people posting in my community about pediatric cancer awareness in September. They use the gold ribbon to increase awareness. They are also very vocal about their feelings about the “pink washing” and declare that it isn’t “fair” that breast cancer gets so much attention. NOTHING about cancer is fair. Any cancer. Happening to anyone. Whether it is a child, or that child’s mother (or father). I hibernate in the month of October, so that I can avoid the pink displays. With my extra time at home, I will make yet another meal, for yet another family….whose world has been rocked by a cancer diagnosis. I am honored to be in this club with you, a club none of us ever wanted to join, but has some of the most amazing members! The pink does not define us, our determination does!❤
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We lost my Mother to the beast and YOU are right! I never really looked at it that way. Though I have enjoyed watching the NFL games with the pink. I feel it reminds me of the fight we fought with my Momma. I will watch what and how I am spending cash on things and send money to the places we know are helping. You keep up the fight and Thank You!
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Thank you for writing this. My mother’s funeral was exactly one year to the date of her mastectomy. She was 55, and she was so much more than two breasts. Pink stinks.
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I couldn’t agree with you more! I’m a seven year breast cancer survivor and had a lumpectomy that left me severely disfigured, followed by chemo and radiation. It’s all good… I’m alive and healthy now and that’s all that matters. But I get so annoyed with “Pinktober”, the “Run for the Cure”, pink this and pink that. It’s nauseating. And I think the idea of a National No Bra Day is absolutely hideous and in no way supports breast cancer survivors. Thank you for your very inspiring post!!
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Thank you for keeping it real. Actually, Oct.13 is National Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day so that whole go braless thing is really a double slap in the face for those of us who live with it. I, too, was diagnosed with breast cancer in my thirties. I was in my forties when it became metastatic and I ‘m 57 now and still undergoing chemo. Fighting everyday to stay alive. I’ve fought this disease for nearly twenty years and have yet to benefit from anything with a pink ribbon. It’s only been through the grace of God that i am still here. I wish I was as articulate as you, I’d be screaming our message from the highest mountain. Thank you for being that voice. Keep it up and fight on.
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Thank you so much for saying what I have been thinking for years. Every time I see one of those “Save Second Base” t-shirts during Oct. I want to puke. I am a 7 year surviovor of Stage 2A breast cancer. Very brave of you to post your photo. I don’t think I could have done that.
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Another great organization to donate to is the National Breast Cancer Coalition or one of it’s local chapters. NBCC does extensive lobbying for government funding of breast cancer research and has helped allocate millions of dollars in federal grant money to this cause, as well as supporting state and local government officials who support funding of breast cancer research. They also have some functions in helping women who may not be able to afford cancer screening get mammograms and host educational seminars on cancer research for the public. Much more efficient and effective than the Komen “let’s wash everything pink” crowd. These unsung heroes have raised way more money for breast cancer research than all the Komen ‘Race for the Cures’ combined.
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I have NEVER thought about some of your points; I had just blindly assumed that if it had a pink ribbon the company must be funding research somewhere and that had to be good- awareness in whatever form must be good… thank you so much for sharing your heart, your experiences and your opinion. You have truly made me think differently!
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I just wanted to add to your list of good cancer charities. The V Foundation. http://www.jimmyv.org/ 100% of donations go to cancer research as all administration is paid for by endowment. You can also check out the research grants they have awarded, plenty of them go to breast cancer research.
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Thank you, Jacob. I will add them to the list!
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Love this post . . I always talk about the thousands of women in our country walking around with non-elective BOOB JOBS and no need ever again for a BRA!
The organization I founded and run, provides 90 days of financial assistance to out of work breast cancer patients in active treatment for non-medical bills.
Please feel free to contact me and thanks for showing the truth about this disease.
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Thank you for your thoughts on this. I too am a breast cancer survivor (I was diagnosed exactly one year ago – still undergoing some treatments) and I have very similar reactions to all the pink and the no bra day. I also hate the slogan “save the ta tas.” I was anxious to get rid of mine, since they were trying to kill me!
Anyway, your perspective is much appreciated.
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