——–
***10/9/2013: I have been completely overwhelmed by the number of visitors this post has received in the past few days (over 130,000 at last count!). I am not sure who first shared it — or who continues to share it — but I want to THANK YOU all for visiting, reading, and sharing it. I think the realities of breast cancer are so often trivialized and “pinkified” so I am sincerely grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read or share my blog. I am sorry to say that my story is just one of many, but with your help, we may just be able to do something to change that. Please feel free to leave me a comment or to share your own story below — or send an email: cancerinmythirties@yahoo.com. Thank you all. ***
Peter Griffin / Family Guy “What Grinds My Gears” Episode
———
I am not a ranter by any means and I have been pretty quiet about “Pinktober” and what has come to be known as “Pinkwashing” in breast cancer circles, but seeing October 13th advertised as “National No Bra Day” and as a “fun” way to support people with breast cancer has pushed me over the edge.
Are you kidding me? How on earth could a day where girls and women are encouraged to post and share photos of their braless breasts and to walk around with their nipples poking through their shirts be “supportive” for women who are living with or who have died from breast cancer, or who have managed to ‘complete’ the arduous treatments and disfiguring surgeries required to put them into remission?
I think the answer is simple. It is not.
Like so many women–and men–who have faced this disease, I have lost my breasts to cancer. Though I had a terrific surgeon, it was a physically and emotionally disfiguring surgery.
The cancer had gone so deep and was so extensive on my left side that it was at first inoperable. Even after months of chemo, my surgeon took as much tissue and skin as possible and went deep into my axilla (underarm area). The cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes and had invaded them to such a degree that they broke open to allow the cancer cells to go beyond the walls of the nodes. Because of how invasive the surgery was and of how much nerve damage, etc. resulted, it was not only extremely painful then, but continues to be a source of pain and phantom sensations that affect my entire upper torso even today.
I required over a year of physical therapy just to be able to raise my arms again and I still don’t have full function or range of motion. And, because of pain, swelling, conspicuous compression sleeves and gloves, I am constantly reminded of the lymphedema that resulted from the surgery and loss of my lymph nodes. Oh, and the life-threatening infections that forced a couple of hospitalizations and four months of massive doses of antibiotics this summer (almost 2 years after my original surgery), are also a little reminder of some of the things that the bilateral mastectomy and lymph node surgeries have left me with. And there is so much more…
So the thought of seeing bra-less women flaunting two body parts that I have lost to cancer — more than I already see this on a regular day — does not feel all that supportive. In fact, it feels quite the opposite.
I think of myself as an open-minded person. I do my best not to judge others or their beliefs and ideals. I have a pretty good sense of humor and am usually the first to poke fun at myself. And I make light of breast cancer and my struggles, treatments and their side effects, lack of breasts, fear of death, etc. fairly frequently. It is how I cope. But, given what I have been through, I think I have earned the right to joke and make light of how this terrible disease has affected me. But if you haven’t been there or taken care of someone who has been there, then you should think twice before you publicize a day that jokes about putting the first body parts we usually lose to this disease “out there” on display even more conspicuously and then labeling it as an activity that helps our ’cause’.
We live in a society that makes a huge hoopla about breast cancer while at the very same time trivializing the seriousness of the disease. How can we be so contradictory?
While I am beyond thrilled that breast cancer is no longer a taboo issue and that people are talking about it, the commercialism has gotten out of hand. There is nothing pink and rosy about breast cancer, yet it has been pink-washed to death. It is a serious disease that kills.
And while I do think we need more awareness and education (about metastatic disease, about how young women CAN develop breast cancer, about how women (young and not so young) DO die from this disease, about the importance of research, etc.), I don’t think we need the kind of awareness that buying a jar of salsa with a pink ribbon on it brings. While I hardly ever see “awareness” products addressing the topics above, I can’t go anywhere without seeing pink products. Heck, I just have to look out of my front window to see giant pink garbage totes. 
The stores are filled with pink as companies try to make a buck off breast cancer. If you look carefully at these products, you’ll find that some of them don’t even donate a cent to breast cancer awareness, support, research, etc. And oftentimes those that do make a very minimal donation — and not always to organizations/programs where the money is well spent. Case in point — during a recent trip to my grocery store’s pink breast cancer section, I found (after reading the small print) that the maximum per item donation to the breast cancer “cause” was $0.35. An abysmal $0.35 for a $25.00 plastic coffee mug! And, guess what, once that $0.35 reaches “the cause,” a portion of it is lost to overhead, salaries and advertising costs.
One of the most unfortunate issues here is that well-meaning people are willing to buy pink products, even pay a little extra, because they think they are helping to do something to “cure” breast cancer or to provide “hope” to breast cancer patients. Why is this sad? Because those dollars spent on pink key chains, pink beer koozies, pink boxes of crackers and pink plastic water bottles could be going to fund research into metastatic disease, better (and less harmful) treatments, the elusive “cure” and, dare I say it, PREVENTION.
My intention is not to offend or to hurt the feelings of anyone who is genuinely trying to help, but I think it is important for you to know the truth. So please put your bra back on, put down those pink garbage bags (unless you really like pink that much!), that pink “awareness” pepper spray keychain, and that pink breast cancer “awareness” vibrator and dildo (yes, I’m blushing and yes, these are real things that their merchandisers say will “help you raise breast cancer awareness” — though they are shipped discretely in plain, unmarked boxes so no one knows what you purchased) and send a few dollars to an organization that devotes their fundraising dollars to research. You just have to do a bit of homework or read the labels on those pink items to see where your money is actually going. [There are pink products out there that do help to fund research, etc. — they seem to be in the vast minority, but they do exist.]
And, if you don’t like homework, here are a few great organizations — there are many others, but these are some of my favorites:
*** Metavivor.org ***: [A terrific organization…] From support groups to funding vital research, our programs sustain the power of hope. Passionately committed patients ourselves, we rally public attention to the urgent needs of the metastatic breast cancer (MBC) community, help patients find strength through support and purpose, and make EVERY dollar count as we work with researchers to regain longevity with quality of life.
*** http://www.standup2cancer.org/ ***: [Another great one — and it’s not just for breast cancer. Note that your donation will NOT be BREAST CANCER-specific, but will be directed toward multiple cancers. Since you are reading a breast cancer-specific post I know this may or may not be in line with your philanthropic goals, but if it is, SU2C is an excellent choice.] “Our mission is to fund collaborative, translational cancer research to bring treatments from the bench to the bedside faster, and save lives now.” Since Stand Up To Cancer was founded in May 2008, we have granted $161 Million Dollars to ten Dream Teams of scientists and researchers, one international translational research team and 26 high-risk, high-reward Innovative Research Grants. 100% of public funds go directly into research grants. A portion of the funds that are raised from major donations and third-party fundraising go towards administrative expenses and overhead.
Other Important Organizations:
***A number of people diagnosed in my age bracket have emailed or commented about how Young Survival Coalition (YSC) has helped them. This organization is the premier global organization dedicated to the critical issues unique to young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer. Founded in 1998, YSC’s mission is to serve the roughly 13,000 under 40 (often an under-recognized contingent of the breast cancer population) who are diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
YSC helps these young women by providing support and health information to see them from diagnosis to long-term survivorship. The nonprofit tackles issues specific to this population, like early menopause, effects on fertility, more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. From YSC, “compared to older women, young women generally face more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. More and more evidence tells us that breast cancer before age 40 differs biologically from the cancer faced by older women.” Thus, the organization also advocates for increased studies on young women with breast cancer. YSC offers resources, connections and outreach so women feel supported, empowered and hopeful.
***If you are interested in making a difference for through an organization specifically targeting Inflammatory Breast Cancer, I recommend http://www.theibcnetwork.org/: Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a rare and highly fatal form of breast cancer that is not typically discovered by mammogram and often occurs prior to standard breast cancer screening age recommendations. Our all volunteer board is focused on education and funding research for this 200 year old orphaned form of breast cancer. No Lump Still Cancer.
…or consider a group that helps cancer patients and their families cope with their illness. For example:
CancerIsAJerk.org — This is a charity my dear friend jme set up to help families touched by cancer. You can make a financial donation or if you’d like to have a tangible something to wear to show your support, you can purchase a “Cancer Is a Jerk” t-shirts with all proceeds going to help actual families touched by cancer. You can also contact jme through the charity if you’d like to sell shirts as a fundraiser with all proceeds going to benefit cancer family applicants in general OR designate a specific family of your choosing.
And don’t underestimate the value of local organizations. My local Breast Cancer Coalition is a perfect example. The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester‘s mission is to make the eradication of breast cancer a priority through education and advocacy; to empower women and men to participate fully in decisions relating to breast cancer; to provide support to those coping with a breast cancer diagnosis; and to focus research into the causes, prevention, treatment and cure of breast cancer.
Also local for me is The Karen Carson Crane Foundation. Founded by Karen’s siblings after she died of breast cancer, the mission of the Karen Carson Crane Foundation (“the KCC Foundation”) is to provide support and financial assistance for individuals affected by breast cancer; to encourage breast cancer patients to have the strength, courage and passion to overcome their disease; to support local organizations that assist breast cancer patients; and to donate a portion of its fundraising dollars to organizations that research and promote alternative cancer treatment methods.
There are many other great organizations and groups out there — these are just a few.
And if you can’t help with a financial donation, consider volunteering your time or talents. Perhaps to local cancer patients — bringing a meal or knitting a chemo cap or scarf, or sending a cozy blanket are examples of ways to show your support. I remember when a small box of craft supplies was left on my doorstep when I was first going through chemo — what a gift that was — my kids loved it and it kept them occupied for a little while when I was really ill! Or consider volunteering (or providing non-financial support) at/for a local cancer center, hospital oncology floor, or for an organization that helps cancer patients and/or their families. [If you need help with finding a place to volunteer, etc in your area, please email me with your town/city name & I will do my best to help…]. There are many ways to show your support that don’t require $$.
—
And, of course, don’t forget to go for your regular mammograms and to feel your breasts when you can (and report any changes to your doctor) because doing these things IS important. It — what I can loosely call a self-breast exam (but which was really just washing myself in the shower) — is how I found my own lumps, about 17 years before I was due for my first mammogram (according to the recommended screening age back in 2009). If I had ignored my lumps and waited for that first screening mammogram, I can safely say I would have been long dead! So please pay attention to your body and your breasts. While the vast majority of lumps are benign, I still believe it’s always best to bring your breast changes to the attention of your doctor. Thanks for reading…
I will leave you with a picture that I believe is my best advertisement for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
- Me — 5 Days post bilateral mastectomy and complete ALND (Axillary Lymph Node Dissection)
Side note: The ACTUAL National No Bra Day is July 9th annually. Someone had the great idea to do a braless day during October — Breast Cancer Awareness Month — to support “the cause.” Adding insult to injury, the day they chose — October 13th — is actually the one day out of the whole year designated for Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness. Sadly, I’ve seen far more No Bra Day awareness advertising circulating around the web than I have Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day info.
————————————————————————————————-
And P.S. — because it seems that clarification is needed for some — this post is NOT about a woman’s choice to wear a bra or not wear a bra. Those comments miss the boat completely. And I do not need a lecture on the merits of going braless. Wear a bra. Don’t wear a bra. That is your choice. Just don’t choose to not wear a bra on one specific day and call it an effort to benefit breast cancer patients or to advance breast cancer research. Raising BREAST AWARENESS you may be, but you are not “supporting BREAST CANCER” by leaving your bra at home.
—————————————————————————
cancer in my thirties 
Thank you sharing your personal story and for opening our eyes. I must admit that when I first saw the picture and post about “national bra-less day” on October 13th to support breast cancer (which by the way happens to be my 40th birthday) my first thought was…”and HOW does going bra-less SUPPORT breast cancer. So thank you so much for confirming what I was feeling. I had a pre-cancerous lump removed from my breast at the age of 22 and this month I will be going in for my first mammogram. Thank you for your courage and for helping people to see what it is like on the other side!!!!
LikeLike
Re-posted this; I’ve had testicular cancer in my early 30’s and also lost part of my body to this disease. (as Elaine points out in an episode of SEINFELD, a more “utilitarian” part, but whatever).
You will understand that I can’t add anything to what you wrote, but it was a refreshing read indeed.
Best of luck to you.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for posting this, please know that you will be in my prayers. I have had cancer 3 times and you are right there is nothing pretty about cancer & everything it takes from you. May God bless you on this journey that you did not choose & thank you for writing this blog.
LikeLike
Great blog to say the least. I am scratching my head why we are having pink awareness day at my work. I think the message has been lost. We are buying pink balloons, bracelets and other pink accessories. When I asked what fundraiser ideas we had in mind, I was looked at like I was martian. My fellow employees felt it would be too difficult to handle the money. I was also told they had no idea where to send the money!
LikeLike
I was diagnosed two years ago with a rare cancer – lyomyosarcoma – in my right breast. Not breast cancer, which acts differently, but a cancer in my breast. I went the double mastetcomy route, because I knew I would lose a great portion of my right side and the thought of a mammogram on the left made me want to scream (all the future potential ‘what ifs’). The decision was a hard one, but hardest was to choose not to reconstruct. So I don’t wear a bra, because my breasts are somewhere in a jar or wherever they place tissues for research. I had chemo during the BIG PINK CRAZE of breast cancer awareness and I wanted to stomp all the pretty pink things into dust.
I think your picture is a better advertisement for cancer. Lying in the hospital bed, with bandages and drains, that’s the real, not-pretty part of cancer. The reality of how chemo makes you feel, as you lose your hair and your energy, the ache in the bones and you feel you are rotting from the inside. The burn of radiation therapy and the accompanying exhaustion.
I plan to tattoo my scarred and flattened chest. Hopefully, I will find the courage to be photographed. While I hear murmurs of how I am disfigured and people question how on earth I would not install artificial, numbed mounds to prove I am a woman, I hold dear the reality.
A REAL woman faces her demons, battles forward when even the darkest hours seem to scream ‘give up’, and makes a new reality by accepting what is rather than a past that is gone forever.
Long live the cancer warriors!!
LikeLike
Thank you so much for sharing this. I feel the same way you do only most people won’t listen. Thank you for posting websites where people can donate money in a way that matters. Sad thing is I think most people like to jump on the band wagon and look like they are so charitable. If they really care, they will care more about the money going towards a cure. Not a new tshirt or trinket.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for telling it like it is. You are an inspiration. Wishing you blessing upon blessing.
LikeLike
Thank you for educating me. I think that most are trying to be supportive but this is an eye opener. Again, thank you.
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Although I cannot relate to what you went through, I can relate to being a woman with breasts, and that means, like most women, I have a fear that someday I will find a lump. Or another lump, I should say. I found a large lump in my breast when I was 18 years old. It was big and absolutely terrifying. I think I stopped breathing for a minute and had a moment of pure fear. Fortunately, it was a cyst, possibly caused by too much caffeine or hormones…or both. Those days in between my finding it and my doctors appointment were the worst I have ever experienced in my life, even though I thought I was “too young to get cancer”. I think about that feeling a lot and check myself regularly with shaky panicky hands at times. That fear of finding something will probably never go away, so I feel for you and every other woman and man who ever suffered through this terrible disease.
LikeLike
On September 8th 2011 I found it what it really feels like to have someone you love be diagnosed with cancer. My 38 year old beautiful daughter was diagnosed but not colored pink. She had a stage iv glioblastoma. For anyone who doesn’t know, this cancer while it doesn’t take away your breasts, takes away who you are because it damages your brain. So in addition to having cancer, you can’t remember things and people and your whole personality changes. Her ribbon is gray. You don’t see it very much. Most people don’t even know what it stands for. I know all cancers are horrible but really is it necessary to go to the extremes people do over breast cancer. Why not make every month a cancer awareness month and fight hard for a cure for all of them. A death from any cancer is still an unnecessary loss.
LikeLike
Lorraine, I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. My own daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer at 14 months of age. She’s almost four and is a miracle. I agree that EVERY month should be All Cancers Awareness Month. No one seems to know that May is Brain Cancer Awareness Month (the grey ribbon) and that September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month (the gold ribbon). It’s tough to be the mother of a child who still suffers the effects of cancer treatment and see the pink ribbons appear in September.
LikeLike
Few people also realize that September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month (Teel Ribbon)
LikeLike
I could not agree with you more!! My mom has glioblastoma IV and my dad has cancer of the blood called multiple myeloma. All cancer is horrible and should have more awareness to all cancers!
LikeLike
Thank you so much for posting this. As much as I believe in supporting the awareness of cancer as a whole, whether it is breast or not I think the commercialization as gone too far. I lost my mom to leukemia and know way too many people who have had cancer or who have passed due to cancer. Buying an item that’s link with a cause doesn’t always help, donate directly to the source helps. Thank you for sharing the links and sharing your experience.
LikeLike
I agree. (My mom also has a blood cancer – multiple myeloma, so it’s a very personal thing for me also.) I’m at the point now where I will make a specific effort to NOT buy things plastered with (mostly pink) ribbons because I just don’t have the time and energy to look every time I make a purchase to make sure some of the funds are actually going to the supposed cause. I’d rather just buy the non-ribboned item that’s usually cheaper anyway, and every so often make a donation to a group that I’ve been able to look into properly. And I do believe deeply in the benefits of research and programs that exist to help support patients and their families, so it’s not that I don’t want to give money – I just don’t want to give money where most of it is not actually going to the cause just because some business person realized that they can move more whatevers by sticking an extra decal on.
(Now, if you as a company go out of your way to be very transparent and upfront about how much you’re donating from sales of your ‘for the cause’ product, then you might get somewhere. Because then I can make an informed decision about how I’m spending my money. But as it is, I’m pretty cynical.)
LikeLike
Thanks for this! I am a two year survivor, 39 when I received my diagnosis though it’s believed I had it awhile. My husband and I have talked about this since I was diagnosed. We didn’t say much because we wanted our friends and family to be able to support us in some way, even if it was by wearing pink. But we also feel like we are being taken advantage of to just sell merchandise that doesn’t have hardly anything go to support research if any.
LikeLike
Thank you!! You are awesome! I just shared on my fb. I noted that I felt like I typed this (again as said above – my story is crazy similar) – but could not take credit because I am not this creative. I also said I loved you:) A friend saw this on fb and sent it to my inbox. I had to share. I usually go silent during Oct on fb – which I usually am NEVER lol – but when I saw this I started to cry. This is the truth! I agree that people buy pink stuff or yogurt (or whatever) with the ribbon thinking that they are helping. I just posted that on Oct 1st – saying it would be my only post in October about this but wanted to make sure everyone knew that the money may not be going to the right place. It’s such a shame that people are blinded by these companies making them think they are doing something good – all while there are companies or organizations that really do the money (and we need their help). Thank you again. Love you – you rock! Weez..
LikeLike
I can’t share your exact feelings about breast cancer, because at 36 I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma, but I did resent every time someone asked me “Do you have breast cancer?” There are so many types of cancer, and they all deserve research and awareness. Couldn’t there be a Cancer month instead of this pink brainwashing? Good luck to you… I’m proud to stand along side you on the Survivor side…
LikeLike
Bravo!!!
LikeLike
As I was saying elsewhere, I had a Fibroid Support Group that was very quickly overrun by people who think the best way to provide support is to drink alcohol and take pictures. Alcohol, which increases estrogen, which increases the size of fibroids. They did not like my practical efforts, so I left my own group to them.
I see the No Bra Day in the same light. It would be like promoting anal sex for prostate cancer awareness. Or like the few men who offer to provide breast exams with their hands, like it is all fun and games.
I support breast cancer and I support the research. I’ve sold pink items for fundraisers because, quite frankly, people are selfish and feel more of an incentive to donate if they get something in return. Someone with a wholesale license can buy pink items for very cheap and sell them at 10x the price, which is a great profit for donation. Of course, my efforts may not be the same as efforts made by corporations. So, don’t get too upset about the color, get upset at who is behind it.
LikeLike
I agree with you and get angry, not that I had cancer, but that some “Nationally recognized” organizations actually donate SO little money towards research and cancer. I had a radical mastectomy and I also make jokes about myself and my cancer. People don’t understand that it is my coping mechanism. Go Bra less day is a slap in the face to those of us traumatized by this horrific disease. I pray you have better days ahead and thank you for letting us share with you. God Bless and Peace.
LikeLike
Having one breast left due to breast cancer and reconstructive problems, I have no desire to see women with breasts going around without bras. I think that is outrageous and gives me no comfort whatsoever. Thanks for your post. God bless.
LikeLike
Your words are powerful and need to be heard…. thank you….and may your pain lessen with time….
LikeLike
Love ya…..I’m with you, physically and in sentiment.
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
Thank you so much for sharing. My first blog and one of the most realest.
LikeLike
I try to see the good in the actions of people. I buy pink products because the money goes to research and helping others. I pay attention to where it goes. You may get tired of seeing pink, but I am glad there is awareness and people are doing good. I don’t think people are trying to make cancer patients feel bad or uncomfortable. Sometimes people don’t know what to say or do.
I saw no pink in the 70’s when my aunt died. I wish I had. My father died of brain cancer at age 36. I have numerous relatives who died of cancer.
At this point, I would take any kind of awareness that would support research and new technologies. Wave those colorful ribbons until we stamp Cancer out.
LikeLike
Pingback: Day 57 – So Much More to the Story… | It Happened Again--her view
My whole family has had a form of post menopausal breast cancer Sister mother grandmother and my mothers sisters. I had the Gene study done and am in two studies. One with Harvard nurses I am an RN. DID some hospice nursing after 40 + years as a critical care ER NURSE. My husband us a practicing internist and is mariculture about doing breast exs on his patients every time they are in his office as he has seen the horrible pain snd death that goes with the type if cancer you are describing.
On the reverse our daughter had our only grandchild and was discovered to have stage 4 colon cancer during her pregnancy. She was 34. Left a 2 year old behind snd vslidntly fought it. She was a rein owed researcher. PhD analytical chemist who did grsmtcreviewsxfor NIH , NSF , Snd NASA WHEN SHE DIED she was working with a neuro bio prof with. 1/2 mill grant ft the NIH looking for a better way for blood brain delivery for therapy as it’s hard to penitrate.
She was always angry over so many things like house cleaning being available to cancer pts thru the cancer society unless you had breast cancer. Colon cancer among the young is not talked about or promoted with finding or awareness.
I pray and hope you fo Ok. I understand where you are coming from
May god bless and may you succeed in beating the beast
You are do right about how they’ve not walked in you shoes with the severity of the disease you have. They are trying to raise awareness and trying to promote earlier breast card for younger women.
God Bless you. Good Luck
LikeLike
Thank you.
LikeLike
Pingback: National No Bra Day and Breast Cancer Awareness Month — OR — Please Put That Pink Can of Soup Down & Put Your Bra Back On | Live Healthier
Agree wholeheartedly with your post. This no bra day is an insult. I had bi lateral mastectomy and reconstruction and the last thing I want to see is perky dancing tits in my face. I discovered your blog today from the link on ‘my wife’s journey’ at least I think that’s what it’s called (brain long gone from chemo/menopause) Anyway I’ve read all your entries this last hour and I’m so impressed by your courage and love your humor and lack of self pity. Keep on surviving and this is what I tell myself to feel better about the medical insurance situation/bad economy; China and India are growing while we decline and I believe the cure will come from there and soon as they don’t have the FDA restrictions. Good eh? Also wish I could give you a big hug and tell you how pretty you are. I was lucky that my husband was good in this area tho I never believed him. Anyway sending you and your boys all my good thoughts and best wishes, Anne
LikeLike
In reading your blog I was reminded of a flood of very painful, scary memories. I was diagnosed in August of 96, stage 2b, I had to have a radical mysectomy on my left side with 26 lymph nodes taken out. Yes, it was very painful, and heartbreaking, I was only 38, with three sons, and it was our youngest sons birthday. I was put into the hospital for a trial test of chemo, turned out I was allergic to the treatment, I was also allergic to Tamxifin, and all the meds they give you for allergic reaction, with the exception of a Epi pen. My doctor gave me the odds of 75/25, with me being the 25%. Seven days from being 7 years out I had a recurrence, and another surgery, with the parameters going into my right breast. I took Femara for 10 years, the after effects of this drug are not good, it has cause my bones to be very brittle.
I would love to be able to put on a bra, but my chest swells with edema and I feel like someone is sitting on my chest, like you I still have the phantom pain in my chest, and the sensations from the loss of lymph nodes feels like I just came out of the dentist office, often a burning or a itching sensation with pain.
I also agree about all the pink ribbons that are on the different items in the stores, I myself donate during this time of month to organizations that 100% of the donation goes to breast cancer. My favorite color has always even pink, so yes I do have a Warriors in pink shirt from Ford cares.
I know that I am blessed or I would not be here today, the allergies have grown to about 80 different meds now and the doctor’s truly do not know how to fix me when I get sick.
I always share my story so that maybe people afflicted with any type of cancer will know there is always hope.
May God bless you and yours, and keep up the fight. You will always, as others be in my prayers.
Thanks for sharing, even though it’s been 18 years the first time, and 11 the second time, I still wonder everyday, “Is this the day it come back again”,
My prayers are with you,
SHARRON HAMRICK, TX
LikeLike
The only thing I’ve been able to find on the web that puts this day in October, is on some “Awareness” calendar in the UK – no group or name mentioned, of course. All it does is talk about how wonderful boobs are, and ladies, going braless wearing a white shirt is encouraged! No I’m not kidding. It’s like a 14 year old boy thought this up. http://www.awarenessdays.co.uk/ai1ec_event/national-no-bra-day/?instance_id=3086
Forget about saving the ta-tas or setting them “Free” – let’s try and save some LIVES.
LikeLike
Thank you so much for this post!
My wife was 34 when she died after three years of battle with this disease. I’ve been struggling with explaining my friends why I hate this Pinktober madness so much. No I can just send them here.
May you be blessed with a long and healthy (as much as possible) life.
LikeLike
If I go braless, the fact that I have only one breast is pretty obvious (I generally wear a “foobie” on my left side). This day is a sad reminder of the fact that I’ll never again go braless in public. I was diagnosed at age 38. Thanks so much for writing this – it’s fantastic, and totally sums up how I feel.
LikeLike
Thank you. Breast cancer isn’t fun or cute or funny. It is tragic. And the sooner we focus on prevention instead of just awareness the better.
LikeLike
Thank you and well said. My wife of just 41 years died from stage 4 breast cancer in May 2013 just after turning 59. She survived almost 10 years after late diagnosis in October 2003. My thoughts and prayers are with you all……
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing your story and allowing others to truly understand what it means to have breast cancer.. There is nothing pink about it… I am sorry too that you have to continue life with Lymphedema…
LikeLike
I do thank you for sharing your story with us and making us more aware about what lies behind some “well-known causes” that are supposed to support the breast cancer, but, indeed, they are not. Besides, I would like to express you my admiration because your words, in spite of the cruelty of the disease you went trough, are full of hope and vitality. You are a clear example of people can fight and defeat this terrible disease. I congtatulate you on your courage and strength. My best regards
LikeLike
What a woman – and yes, I will certainly think about where I direct my dollars in future. You have truly changed my view. All the best, sister xxx
LikeLike
I really appreciate you sharing your story and can relate to some of what you went through. I truly hope that by sharing our stories it will help others make different decisions. I did quite a bit of research regarding reconstruction due to an allergy to plastic and silicone and having multiple sclerosis and not wanting to get the quote unquote tummy tuck flap surgery. Ladies there is an alternative out there and it’s called fat grafting. Dr. Roger Khouri at the Miami Breast Center is a GOD send. He can do the most amazing reconstruction with out another invasive surgery or implants. As for take off your bra day….. I say put your pink bra on and support breast cancer.
Many prayers that you find peace and comfort.
LikeLike
I have never had cancer and neither have my family members, so I’ve always been a bit reluctant to give my opinion on the ‘pink craze’ … But you have articulated what I always felt about it. Your photo at the end of your well thought out and well written post is the REAL way to raise awareness, and (I hope) increase funding for research.
Thank you for speaking up – in the nicest possible way, about a topic desperately needing wise (and nice) words.
Every blessing, Anne x
LikeLike
Well Said. My Prayers are with you.
LikeLike
I’m with you 100%. I am a recent breast cancer patient, and am incensed by the 2013 No Bra Day posts on Facebook. All the best to you. Maybe we should publish your picture on Facebook instead. It would perhaps make people think before they trivialised breast cancer like this.
LikeLike
Thanks for posting such a heartfelt and authentic response to the pink flood. I am just grateful that in the floods of pink cookies and cakes, no bra day has not caught on in my part of the world. As one of the many “Bold & Breastless” here in Israel, it is perhaps the last thing I want flaunted in my face. I miss my breasts enough, thank you very much. Good health to you and Shalom!
LikeLike
Thank you for sharing your story. I need this .Kaye
LikeLike
It’s been over 14 years now since we lost my mother to breast cancer. She was 55 at the time. My own daughter was under 2. I still miss Mom intensely.
Every year I breathe a sigh of relief when my smears and mammograms come back negative, but the thought quickly dives back into the back of my mind that maybe next year will be when something isn’t clear.
I’m 48, and I am reminded every time I see another pink label that I am in a higher risk category; that I could leave my own daughter, now sixteen, without a confidante in much the same way as I myself was. I hate the commercialism of the pinking, but it’s omnipresent.
LikeLike
I was 37 the first time I was told I had breast cancer. I am now 58. Still dealing with it. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for “ranting”. Your words are true and well said.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on To Talk of Many Things and commented:
I have a pink “breast cancer” bracelet and a small ring with the symbol on it. I bought them years ago mainly because of the color but also because the proceeds were going to the Cancer Society for breast cancer research. Over the years, though, I have become less and less impressed with what we do during the month of October under the name of Breast Cancer Awareness. I have a friend who is dying of breast cancer, I had a very special, very dear friend who died of breast cancer some years ago so it’s not that I’m opposed to breast cancer awareness but I’d rather you put your money towards the Cancer Society than to buying pink stuff whose sellers may or may not send the proceeds towards research. Each time I see aisles of pink things in October, see the NFL go “pink” in October or see those dumb Facebook things about I’m going here or there for this many months” to make people think about breast cancer (REALLY????), I just shake my head and wonder how we go to this point. Pink is my favorite color but this time of the year I can’t stand seeing it.
LikeLike
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1986. She had a single mastectomy and 2 years later had her 2nd mastectomy and her lymph nodes removed. She was blessed and lived until 2007 when she died at the age of 82 unrelated to breast cancer. Yes she was a survivor!
I have 6 sisters and after my mother was diagnosed she insisted that we would go together for our annual mammograms.
Over time our work schedules and life got in the way of scheduling our day together but we all go every year. On April 27th 2011 my younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer.
This was supposed to be the happiest time of her life, she was going to be married in the late fall.
Rather than putting her life on hold, she attacked this disease with a strength that can only come from faith.
She went though chemo, and 2 weeks after completion of a physically demanding round of treatment she married the love of her life. Upon returning from a fairytale dream wedding she underwent bi-lateral surgery and removal of her lymph nodes. She followed up with radiation therapy.
She never complains about the pain she continues to have yet today as a result of her surgeries., but you can see it on her face, words do not need to be spoken.
She is an amazing person that I admire greatly.
I find all “the pink” a constant reminder of my mother and sisters pain and suffering, the fear they had, not knowing what the outcome was for them. But no one knows where life will take them, what challenges we will have to meet and overcome.
My family has embraced “the pink” as a way to support those women and men and their families who have been touched by this dreadful disease.
We will walk on Oct. 20th in memory of our mother and in solidarity with our sister. We continue to pray for a cure.
LikeLike
Great post and I’m sharing it far and wide. I lost my Mother to breast cancer three years ago, and my sister six months ago, to a different kind of breast cancer. There is nothing sexy or “fun” about breast cancer and I have been “pinked out” for years now. The “pinkification” of cancer is offensive to me; It’s frivolous and demeaning. You stated it well.
LikeLike
As has already been said, thank you for speaking the cold hard truth about this subject. Too many people are being emotionally “conned” into buying products with the little pink ribbon on it, so that they can feel like they are doing something to support someone they know that had breast cancer. There are many excellent ways to support the cause without buying “Pink” salsa… Prayers to your continued good health
LikeLike
HELL YES!!!!! Amen Sister ❤
Much Love & Respect
LikeLike
thank you for your post.. I am sharing it on FB. My daughter is a stage 4 BC here in Canada and I too am sick to death of the pink… we ain’t pink. Be strong, stay well.
LikeLike
Another great organization that supports women post-op is http://www.healincomfort.org
LikeLike