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***10/9/2013: I have been completely overwhelmed by the number of visitors this post has received in the past few days (over 130,000 at last count!). I am not sure who first shared it — or who continues to share it — but I want to THANK YOU all for visiting, reading, and sharing it. I think the realities of breast cancer are so often trivialized and “pinkified” so I am sincerely grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read or share my blog. I am sorry to say that my story is just one of many, but with your help, we may just be able to do something to change that. Please feel free to leave me a comment or to share your own story below — or send an email: cancerinmythirties@yahoo.com. Thank you all. ***
Peter Griffin / Family Guy “What Grinds My Gears” Episode
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I am not a ranter by any means and I have been pretty quiet about “Pinktober” and what has come to be known as “Pinkwashing” in breast cancer circles, but seeing October 13th advertised as “National No Bra Day” and as a “fun” way to support people with breast cancer has pushed me over the edge.
Are you kidding me? How on earth could a day where girls and women are encouraged to post and share photos of their braless breasts and to walk around with their nipples poking through their shirts be “supportive” for women who are living with or who have died from breast cancer, or who have managed to ‘complete’ the arduous treatments and disfiguring surgeries required to put them into remission?
I think the answer is simple. It is not.
Like so many women–and men–who have faced this disease, I have lost my breasts to cancer. Though I had a terrific surgeon, it was a physically and emotionally disfiguring surgery.
The cancer had gone so deep and was so extensive on my left side that it was at first inoperable. Even after months of chemo, my surgeon took as much tissue and skin as possible and went deep into my axilla (underarm area). The cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes and had invaded them to such a degree that they broke open to allow the cancer cells to go beyond the walls of the nodes. Because of how invasive the surgery was and of how much nerve damage, etc. resulted, it was not only extremely painful then, but continues to be a source of pain and phantom sensations that affect my entire upper torso even today.
I required over a year of physical therapy just to be able to raise my arms again and I still don’t have full function or range of motion. And, because of pain, swelling, conspicuous compression sleeves and gloves, I am constantly reminded of the lymphedema that resulted from the surgery and loss of my lymph nodes. Oh, and the life-threatening infections that forced a couple of hospitalizations and four months of massive doses of antibiotics this summer (almost 2 years after my original surgery), are also a little reminder of some of the things that the bilateral mastectomy and lymph node surgeries have left me with. And there is so much more…
So the thought of seeing bra-less women flaunting two body parts that I have lost to cancer — more than I already see this on a regular day — does not feel all that supportive. In fact, it feels quite the opposite.
I think of myself as an open-minded person. I do my best not to judge others or their beliefs and ideals. I have a pretty good sense of humor and am usually the first to poke fun at myself. And I make light of breast cancer and my struggles, treatments and their side effects, lack of breasts, fear of death, etc. fairly frequently. It is how I cope. But, given what I have been through, I think I have earned the right to joke and make light of how this terrible disease has affected me. But if you haven’t been there or taken care of someone who has been there, then you should think twice before you publicize a day that jokes about putting the first body parts we usually lose to this disease “out there” on display even more conspicuously and then labeling it as an activity that helps our ’cause’.
We live in a society that makes a huge hoopla about breast cancer while at the very same time trivializing the seriousness of the disease. How can we be so contradictory?
While I am beyond thrilled that breast cancer is no longer a taboo issue and that people are talking about it, the commercialism has gotten out of hand. There is nothing pink and rosy about breast cancer, yet it has been pink-washed to death. It is a serious disease that kills.
And while I do think we need more awareness and education (about metastatic disease, about how young women CAN develop breast cancer, about how women (young and not so young) DO die from this disease, about the importance of research, etc.), I don’t think we need the kind of awareness that buying a jar of salsa with a pink ribbon on it brings. While I hardly ever see “awareness” products addressing the topics above, I can’t go anywhere without seeing pink products. Heck, I just have to look out of my front window to see giant pink garbage totes. 
The stores are filled with pink as companies try to make a buck off breast cancer. If you look carefully at these products, you’ll find that some of them don’t even donate a cent to breast cancer awareness, support, research, etc. And oftentimes those that do make a very minimal donation — and not always to organizations/programs where the money is well spent. Case in point — during a recent trip to my grocery store’s pink breast cancer section, I found (after reading the small print) that the maximum per item donation to the breast cancer “cause” was $0.35. An abysmal $0.35 for a $25.00 plastic coffee mug! And, guess what, once that $0.35 reaches “the cause,” a portion of it is lost to overhead, salaries and advertising costs.
One of the most unfortunate issues here is that well-meaning people are willing to buy pink products, even pay a little extra, because they think they are helping to do something to “cure” breast cancer or to provide “hope” to breast cancer patients. Why is this sad? Because those dollars spent on pink key chains, pink beer koozies, pink boxes of crackers and pink plastic water bottles could be going to fund research into metastatic disease, better (and less harmful) treatments, the elusive “cure” and, dare I say it, PREVENTION.
My intention is not to offend or to hurt the feelings of anyone who is genuinely trying to help, but I think it is important for you to know the truth. So please put your bra back on, put down those pink garbage bags (unless you really like pink that much!), that pink “awareness” pepper spray keychain, and that pink breast cancer “awareness” vibrator and dildo (yes, I’m blushing and yes, these are real things that their merchandisers say will “help you raise breast cancer awareness” — though they are shipped discretely in plain, unmarked boxes so no one knows what you purchased) and send a few dollars to an organization that devotes their fundraising dollars to research. You just have to do a bit of homework or read the labels on those pink items to see where your money is actually going. [There are pink products out there that do help to fund research, etc. — they seem to be in the vast minority, but they do exist.]
And, if you don’t like homework, here are a few great organizations — there are many others, but these are some of my favorites:
*** Metavivor.org ***: [A terrific organization…] From support groups to funding vital research, our programs sustain the power of hope. Passionately committed patients ourselves, we rally public attention to the urgent needs of the metastatic breast cancer (MBC) community, help patients find strength through support and purpose, and make EVERY dollar count as we work with researchers to regain longevity with quality of life.
*** http://www.standup2cancer.org/ ***: [Another great one — and it’s not just for breast cancer. Note that your donation will NOT be BREAST CANCER-specific, but will be directed toward multiple cancers. Since you are reading a breast cancer-specific post I know this may or may not be in line with your philanthropic goals, but if it is, SU2C is an excellent choice.] “Our mission is to fund collaborative, translational cancer research to bring treatments from the bench to the bedside faster, and save lives now.” Since Stand Up To Cancer was founded in May 2008, we have granted $161 Million Dollars to ten Dream Teams of scientists and researchers, one international translational research team and 26 high-risk, high-reward Innovative Research Grants. 100% of public funds go directly into research grants. A portion of the funds that are raised from major donations and third-party fundraising go towards administrative expenses and overhead.
Other Important Organizations:
***A number of people diagnosed in my age bracket have emailed or commented about how Young Survival Coalition (YSC) has helped them. This organization is the premier global organization dedicated to the critical issues unique to young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer. Founded in 1998, YSC’s mission is to serve the roughly 13,000 under 40 (often an under-recognized contingent of the breast cancer population) who are diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
YSC helps these young women by providing support and health information to see them from diagnosis to long-term survivorship. The nonprofit tackles issues specific to this population, like early menopause, effects on fertility, more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. From YSC, “compared to older women, young women generally face more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. More and more evidence tells us that breast cancer before age 40 differs biologically from the cancer faced by older women.” Thus, the organization also advocates for increased studies on young women with breast cancer. YSC offers resources, connections and outreach so women feel supported, empowered and hopeful.
***If you are interested in making a difference for through an organization specifically targeting Inflammatory Breast Cancer, I recommend http://www.theibcnetwork.org/: Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a rare and highly fatal form of breast cancer that is not typically discovered by mammogram and often occurs prior to standard breast cancer screening age recommendations. Our all volunteer board is focused on education and funding research for this 200 year old orphaned form of breast cancer. No Lump Still Cancer.
…or consider a group that helps cancer patients and their families cope with their illness. For example:
CancerIsAJerk.org — This is a charity my dear friend jme set up to help families touched by cancer. You can make a financial donation or if you’d like to have a tangible something to wear to show your support, you can purchase a “Cancer Is a Jerk” t-shirts with all proceeds going to help actual families touched by cancer. You can also contact jme through the charity if you’d like to sell shirts as a fundraiser with all proceeds going to benefit cancer family applicants in general OR designate a specific family of your choosing.
And don’t underestimate the value of local organizations. My local Breast Cancer Coalition is a perfect example. The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester‘s mission is to make the eradication of breast cancer a priority through education and advocacy; to empower women and men to participate fully in decisions relating to breast cancer; to provide support to those coping with a breast cancer diagnosis; and to focus research into the causes, prevention, treatment and cure of breast cancer.
Also local for me is The Karen Carson Crane Foundation. Founded by Karen’s siblings after she died of breast cancer, the mission of the Karen Carson Crane Foundation (“the KCC Foundation”) is to provide support and financial assistance for individuals affected by breast cancer; to encourage breast cancer patients to have the strength, courage and passion to overcome their disease; to support local organizations that assist breast cancer patients; and to donate a portion of its fundraising dollars to organizations that research and promote alternative cancer treatment methods.
There are many other great organizations and groups out there — these are just a few.
And if you can’t help with a financial donation, consider volunteering your time or talents. Perhaps to local cancer patients — bringing a meal or knitting a chemo cap or scarf, or sending a cozy blanket are examples of ways to show your support. I remember when a small box of craft supplies was left on my doorstep when I was first going through chemo — what a gift that was — my kids loved it and it kept them occupied for a little while when I was really ill! Or consider volunteering (or providing non-financial support) at/for a local cancer center, hospital oncology floor, or for an organization that helps cancer patients and/or their families. [If you need help with finding a place to volunteer, etc in your area, please email me with your town/city name & I will do my best to help…]. There are many ways to show your support that don’t require $$.
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And, of course, don’t forget to go for your regular mammograms and to feel your breasts when you can (and report any changes to your doctor) because doing these things IS important. It — what I can loosely call a self-breast exam (but which was really just washing myself in the shower) — is how I found my own lumps, about 17 years before I was due for my first mammogram (according to the recommended screening age back in 2009). If I had ignored my lumps and waited for that first screening mammogram, I can safely say I would have been long dead! So please pay attention to your body and your breasts. While the vast majority of lumps are benign, I still believe it’s always best to bring your breast changes to the attention of your doctor. Thanks for reading…
I will leave you with a picture that I believe is my best advertisement for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
- Me — 5 Days post bilateral mastectomy and complete ALND (Axillary Lymph Node Dissection)
Side note: The ACTUAL National No Bra Day is July 9th annually. Someone had the great idea to do a braless day during October — Breast Cancer Awareness Month — to support “the cause.” Adding insult to injury, the day they chose — October 13th — is actually the one day out of the whole year designated for Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness. Sadly, I’ve seen far more No Bra Day awareness advertising circulating around the web than I have Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day info.
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And P.S. — because it seems that clarification is needed for some — this post is NOT about a woman’s choice to wear a bra or not wear a bra. Those comments miss the boat completely. And I do not need a lecture on the merits of going braless. Wear a bra. Don’t wear a bra. That is your choice. Just don’t choose to not wear a bra on one specific day and call it an effort to benefit breast cancer patients or to advance breast cancer research. Raising BREAST AWARENESS you may be, but you are not “supporting BREAST CANCER” by leaving your bra at home.
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cancer in my thirties 
Good god, would somebody please explain those garbage cans? What kind of shitty icon is that for something that is, as you rightly point out, is pretty serious. I hate most things pink, but what I hate more than that is exactly what you say, this false sense of doing something when you buy pink, cheap crap. I love that someone “in the know” can point this out. I’d just look like a jerk if I did!
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Thank you for your commentary. My grandmother died of breast cancer. I was diagnosed in 1992 and had a lumpectomy which left my left breast smaller. Oh well. then over the years the cancer was in my ribs twice, and then in my left hip. I have never hit a five year anniversary mark. My sister that lives with me had breast cancer, she had a lumpectomy also and seems to be doing well. My other sister who lives in Kansas City just had a double mastectomy the first of last month. She is doing ok, having some tough times, but she has a great support group through her church and her husband. Due to a reaction to a cancer drug I lost most of my jaws and all of my teeth so no dentures, nothing to anchor them to. I have maintance chemo every three weeks hoping that it will keep the bone cancer from coming back for a fourth time. So yes I can understand where you are coming from, but I just keep plugging along. I am in college studying for my bachelors degree in business leadership. I absolutely WILL NOT let this disease stop me or slow me down in what I want to do with my life. I agree about the pink stuff, to use a polite word, I am tired of everything being pink to promote the cure of a disease that most people still don’t understand. I get tired of people telling me how great I look and how brave I am, when all I am doing is just trying to get through the day like everyone else. Just because I have breast cancer doesn’t make me an object of pity. And false comfort. Now that I have vented, I wish all of the breast cancer ladies (and men) to keep that head up and don’t let anything get you down, you deserve the best.
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Reblogged this on Not Down Or Out and commented:
The “pinkwashing” of the breast cancer research cause is outrageous. This blog helps explain how painful it is to breast cancer survivors to have their condition trivialized by companies that use others’ suffering to promote their merchandise and who do not help the effort to find a cure. Pass on the word–no more pink posers–make direct contributions to charities that make a difference!
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This was very informative. I didn’t know that the money doesn’t often go where it should or needs too.
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Thanks so much for taking the time to read it — I know it was longwinded! 😉
Yes, it’s such a shame — it the big “pink” secret.
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It’s really too bad it’s compromised.
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SO amazingly brave of you to take this stand. I completely agree. My mother was diagnosed at 48 and suffers from lymphedema as well. Keep fighting back and we will find a cure!!
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I was unaware of that too. Disappointing for sure!
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OFTEN–the ceo’s of companies get paid big bucks while we are left to believe it is for a cause! couple of those organizations are goodwill–(all profit) and UNITED WAY—only a portion of what you donate goes anywhere…I donate anonymously like to the veterans or salvation army–I KNOW those two are safe…..and that the money goes here it is supposed to go. anonymous- yes–you give to one organization and they pass around your address so every tom dick and harry will try to get some of your funds….they all spend a fortune on advertisement! and you pay for that, too!
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Thank you so much for your words! They really opened my eyes. I didn’t realize some of the “pink” companies didn’t actually donate anything. I will definitely try to be more aware of how I donate in the future. Your story, however sad, is written beautifully. I applaud you for finding the humor in a situation that would make me want to hide under a rock & not come out again. You have truly touched me. My great aunt had both of her breasts removed years ago & I honestly never noticed there was anything different about her until we were comparing scars one day. (she won!) It was a family secret but we were very close so she opened up to me & I have always been grateful that she did! I was always amazed by her bravery & I admire yours as well!! I am glad you are willing to speak out on the not so pretty part of the disease. It touched me more than you will ever know. Hugs!!!!
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Hi Leann,
Thank you so much for your comment! You have touched me with your words and made me feel as though what I am doing with this blog is worth the time and energy.
It was so nice of you to share the story about your aunt. She sounds like a special lady! I’m so glad she had you to confide in — and I’m sure she was, too!
Thank you, Leann, for taking the time to comment — and for saying such wonderful things — I am truly grateful!!
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I had cancer in my 30’s too. I cringe at the pink campaign but also the ribbons and colors:) Thank you for sharing this post.
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I’m so sorry to hear that, Cathy! Yes, it really is a shame that cancer patients/survivors are being exploited by *some* companies and organizations. I know there are good ones out there, of course, but there are far too corporations with bad intentions for my liking!
Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment on my rant! 😉 Warmest wishes… ~L
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THAT money is best spent elsewhere…companies spend a fortune on advertisement–why not put it where it was intended!
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Wow this is very disturbing I have experienced three young women close in nature die because of tis disease. I’m unfortunately attending my sister in law funeral this Saturday and it has really effectd me because this can happen to anyone of us. I hate that she was private and so her death came as a surprise to many including her closest family. That was it for me I wanted to know more and get an understanding of what she went thru silently. I ran across your blog on the cancer society website. I hope and pray you can beat this and be there for your beautiful twins and get a chance to enjoy your life.
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Thank you so much… I am so sorry for your losses. This is such a terrible disease that has been pink-ified so much that many don’t realize how deadly it can be. I am so sorry that you’ve had to experience the seriousness of breast cancer firsthand and that 3 more women had to lose their lives to this terrible disease.
Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words. Sending warm thoughts your way…
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I so appreciate you and I admire you so much for having the courage to share your story. I don’t know if I could but you know you are making me rethink that because we are our strongest in numbers and Jesus said its better to give than to receive, you are helping me to see that. Thank you so much.
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Thank you for posting this. I, too, had cancer in my thirties and again in my fifties. I, too, have lost friends and loved ones (including my mother when she was 43) to breast cancer. I, too, am tired of the pink, pink, pink commercialism that has grown up around what is a dreadful disease. Perhaps if enough of us pull away from the campaigning and simply encourage donations to organizations that truly minister to women, that provide detection and treatment services, and that due honest research there will be a breakthrough. But in the meantime, compassion and empathy are what’s required…not more pink stuff! May God bless you with complete healing and the grace to keep fighting!
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Thanks so much for your comment, Judy.
I am so sorry for your losses — and for your own breast cancer. I am especially sorry that you lost your mom to this disease…
I think you are very right about what is needed. Change can’t come soon enough…
Thank you so much, Judy… I am grateful for your comment. Warmest wishes…
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Thank you so much for writing this! I have a dear friend who is an IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer) survivor, which is a rare thing (surviving it, that is), and she is constantly trying to raise awareness, and get people to give directly to research, instead of wasting it on the pink-washing of everything.
I will add The Inflammatory Breast Cancer Network – IBC, as another place that people can donate money for breast cancer research. IBC is an insidious form of breast cancer, wear there is normally no lump, but the cancer is very much there. It hits women of all ages, young and old. It is a very deadly form of breast cancer. The link to their website, which has a button to donate, along with all the info about it, etc., is: http://www.theibcnetwork.org/.
Thank you again for sharing your story, and for showing people how to be more aware of where their money goes in the fight against breast cancer.
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Thank you Kathy for sharing the Inflammatory Breast Cancer info! We have so much work to do and our lovely blogger sharing her thoughts are an important part of what is happening to reclaim pink! Hope always, Terry Arnold, founder, The IBC Network. dx summer 2007, triple neg ibc. (yes, both, and both breast.)
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Thank you so much, Kathy and Terry. I appreciate hearing from both of you! I am running out for an MRI right now or I would write more, but I will add The IBC Network to this list before I leave.
Thank you, Kathy. Terry, I am so sorry for what you have been through. And thank you so much for sharing your important organization and your story!
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When you are back, message me. Would love to know more about you. Hoping the best for the MRI.
Terry
https://www.facebook.com/terry.arnold
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When you can, since I see you added the link, could this text accompany the link?
Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a rare and highly fatal form of breast cancer that is not typically discovered by mammogram and often occurs prior to standard breast cancer screening age recommendations. The IBC Network is an all volunteer led charity focused on education and funding research for this orphaned form of breast cancer. No Lump, Still Cancer.
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Since you added the link, could this text accompany it?
Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a rare and highly fatal form of breast cancer that is not typically discovered by mammogram and often occurs prior to standard breast cancer screening age recommendations. Our all volunteer board is focused on education and funding research for this 200 year old orphaned form of breast cancer. No Lump Still Cancer.
Thank you, Terry Arnold
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I will, Terry. You are very welcome!
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you are the best. Please let us know how your MRI went today. I will share your post on our sites. Hope Always. Terry
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Thank you for the IBC website. My younger sister passed from this disease in August 2009 after being diagnoised in Dec 2008. She was very private about it and left 2 young children. It struck us out of the blue and nothing much was said about it while she battled it even to me.
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she might not have know much. that is why I started the IBC Network. This 200 year old form of cancer has been overlooked. I am so sorry to hear she passed. Peace to you.
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What also really stinks is that the powers that be never, never, even hint at one probable cause of breast cancer in some women…the use of birth control pills…it’s a sacred cow. And yet Planned Parenthood, which dispenses BC like candy, is funded by Komen…one hand feeding the other..
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Amen!
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I didn’t use them and I know of many others who didn’t use them. but you are right, we do need to talk about cause.
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I read about the no bra day and being a survivor myself I was a bit offended. I thought I would be the only one.
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My two sisters are both breast cancer survivors – one just past that 5-years-since-final-chemo date and the other in her first year post surgery. My youngest sister’s picture during her hospital stay for bilateral mastectomy & the lymph node removals was very much like your picture. Breast cancer research is so very important. Sending continued hope and strength for your life’s journey.
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Reblogged this on Leaven for the Loaf and commented:
Wow. h/t to Catherine Adair for bringing this year-old post to my attention. A culture of life meditation, for sure.
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Thanks for this! always been uncomfortable with the commercializing of the disease and suffering but didn’t know how to genuinely help. Thanks for the links. Good to know donations are going where they need to go.
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So eye-opening. Congratulations on your survival and work toward wellness. I’ll donate to one of the great organizations you recommend & keep my bra ON–not that I was ever in danger of going braless at my age & stature. Thank you for the great information.
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What do you think of the Party in Pink cause….the Zumba one? http://www.zumba.com/en-US/partyinpink
I am participating in one and I have mixed feelings, but from what I can yell the money goes to research. Susan g komen and their ow re earth grant about flaxseed? Some friends who are survivors will be there and I am nervous about their feelings. What would or would have made you feel honored at an event? Thanks for any advice. I realize that for Zumba this could just be a way to get their name out there, but I hope the people who actually participate do work towards awareness. Great article, and thank you for writing it.
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I hope you also tell them about me. I echo your thoughts and I am doing what I can about it. I was diagnosed with the most fatal of all the breast cancers, Inflammatory Breast Cancer. This 200 year old form of cancer is not talked about. No lump, still cancer and a mammogram will not pick it up. It tends to strike younger women and is the most fatal of all the breast cancers. In the “pinking” of America, our fatal disease is overlooked, pink is so so pretty to some when it is so serious. I am a very rare survivor and I devote all my time to educating and funding research. Our all volunteer board has put over $100,000 to research in our first year alone. No junk here, doing our best to save lives. http://www.theibcnetwork.org
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Just follow the money. That should explain the “pink” thing. Sad, so sad, especially for us “survivors”.
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Thanks for including IBC! This rare and deadly breast cancer is overlooked, along with MBC, during October, it’s not a “feel good” cancer.
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Thank you for this. Just, thank you.
btw- I’m one of the many sharing this post.
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Just yes. And thank you. That is all.
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Just wanted you to know that I think you are so beautiful in that pic–not to sound super weird, bc I know that was a painful operation–but at risk of sounding strange, it is very encouraging to see someone open and sharing a vulnerable part of themselves and story–it comes across as strong and beautiful and I just wanted to say thanks for that. The picture by far is the best reminder / teaching tool I’ve ever seen, because yes, we the public are all glossing over and (some of us) having fun with playful awareness campaigns that do a whole lot of nothing. So thanks!!
You’ll be in my prayers ❤
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I really appreciate this post more than you could ever imagine. We lost my mom in April after an 11 month battle with Breast Cancer. She was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer. She had to have surgery on her left axilla and a bilateral mastectomy as well. This was after completing 8 rounds of chemo. THEN she started radiation 8 weeks after her mastectomy. While completing her radiation we discovered her cancer had progressed to her brain. The crazy thing is her previous “body” scans had shown she was cancer free. She was given brain radiation at this point and only days to live. She was with us another 11 weeks. 10 of those weeks she had great quality of life.
Maybe our wound is still very fresh but the pinkwashing just reminds me of all my family and I have lost.
I would like to add how very brave of you to post that picture of you post-mastectomy. That’s real life and want to give you a great big Ehug and high five for being brave enough to tell it like it is!
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How refreshing, and thank you for this post. I agree with you 100%. Lets be kind and compassionate. Lets consider survivor feelings. Lets change
“awareness” to fund raising for a cure, with all profits going to the cause and not the fund raisers! Hugs!
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I’m so sorry you had to endure this, but I am thrilled that you are still here to talk about it! Prayers for continued healing.
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I love your post and shared it in my blog post about this fake holiday! http://36tee5.com/is-october-13-no-bra-day-really-to-support-breast-cancer/
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I talk about this ALL THE TIME during October. While I wish that “pinking” everything really WOULD help…it doesn’t. Brands are taking advantage of a public that is touched by breast cancer and playing on their sympathies and it is disgusting. I think that for anything that is “pinked” or sports the breast cancer ribbon more than half of that product’s proceeds should go directly to research or mental and emotional support for those fighting breast cancer or those affected by breast cancer. I HATE seeing the sports refs with their little pink flags. I think that we become blind to it after the first two or three games and that it is nothing. Are those teams donating to the cause or just doing what is easy and hiding behind their pink ribbons and shoes?!?! UGH!!!
My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and lost her left breast back in the days when every breast cancer patient got a mastectomy. I loved her very much and she beat the cancer (only to be taken by dementia many years later), but I remember very much her disdain for her bra and the little beaded and rubber inserts that she wore for as long as I can remember.
Thank you for writing this and putting pen to the things that I have been complaining about and thinking for many many years.
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The only reason I can think of for “No Bra Day” being good is that some studies have shown that wearing bra’s can actually increase your chances of getting breast cancer. Though it isn’t proven, the theory is that bras reduce the circulation of the lymph system which can lead to higher risks of breast cancer.
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Great post! I think this is true of all the “ribbon campaigns” to a certain extent. I also think it’s better to just donate the money to the research organization than buy another “fru-fru” thing you don’t need. (And I joke with my friend (and Ovarian Cancer survivor) that I’m glad she got teal for her disease because I like that MUCH better than pink!)
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I am saddened that the money sent in for research, etc is being wasted by advertising such things as PINK! I come from a family that is plagued by cancer– My sister had a mastectomy, (still surviving) mom passed from lung cancer, dad passed from colon cancer and lung cancer and my brother passed from lymphoma.. (mind you–they were not diligent in getting the care they needed) your story is very eye-opening, and you are a very beautiful and remarkable young woman! I am very wary of who or what organization gets my money–I always give anonymously–and I am considered stingy now! all my working life I gave money to the United Way–Then I met my hubby 20 years ago and he showed me where my money goes donating that way— the CEO at that time made over 250,000 per year!!!!! from a charity!!!! frankly, this turned me around to donating….I dont understand why people in that capacity need that kinda money when everyone else is doing the work. and the charities get the dribble down affect. how does one decide who get how much–the CEO?? I only donate to NOT FOR PROFIT–IE Veterans, and Salvation Army!
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PS —I am not about to go bra-less–I dont mind being around the house that way but going out–R THEY CRAZY!!!!!
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I echo your sentiments 100%. The last several years of my mother’s life she couldn’t even wear a bra. She was in so much pain from the breast cancer that had spread to her bones, the mascetomy itself and even worse the “lift” done to her other breast made it impossible. Even before then I had found one bra that was soft on her skin, opened in the front so she could actually get it on, and had it custom made, so that it didn’t cover area’s that hurt her.
My mother died in December 2012. She had been breast cancer free for 8 years, when it reoccured in her bones, which is 100% fatal. She lived about 2 1/2 years after using any chemo and hormone around to try and slow it down. She died with it in her ribs, pelvis, hips, spine, arm, neck, jaw, brain and finally her liver. It robbed her of all dignity. I now wear that bra that I had purchased for her, it was in good condition as she didn’t wear it that much, and it seems just silly to waste it.
Stop buying pink people. All your doing is making CEO’s of charities like Susan B Komen super rich. Your not helping Breast Cancer.
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I’ll be sharing your post as well. I’ve been doing a rant-linking spree on Facebook as well as my own blog, as I share the TRUTH of cancer and its aftermath. Thank you for yet another beautifully-worded post on how awful all this pink really is.
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Shared your story. and hoping you can feel my e-hugs.
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Your words are so perfect for the way I feel.. I was diagnosed with stage IIIb Inflammatory Breast Cancer 10/15/12 and this being the first pinktober I have experienced and I am ver sensitive and hurt.. I am 30 now and still in treatment.. I had 6 rounds of chemo, bilateral radical mastectomy with 34 lymph nodes removed from the right side and 54 rounds of radiation, twice a day everyday for 4 weeks and 2 days.. infusions every three weeks, chemo pill everyday and menopause shot every three months.. oh joy.. my two kids are the reason I fight.. thank you for your post.. look me up on Facebook under Kristen’s Crusade.. stay strong and fight on xoxo
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I was Iucky. So many family members and yet BRCA negative, we’re called a familial cluster and they’re studying our genetic structure…hoping to find something new.
Still I was vigilant and of course I developed a form of aggressive DCIS, but they couldn’t get clean margins. Ended up with a mastectomy where they found the breast was over 50% involved with areas of invasive. Fast forward, multiple years, multiple surgeries and I’m okay. Like you, I have phantom pain, complications led to 4 additional surgeries, each going a little deeper, taking a little more. My path was small compared to yours and others, I feel that my cancers weren’t as significant (no chemo, radiation) and I choose not to participate in Pink. I especially dislike the no bra day; I find nothing redeeming in that.
Thank you for sharing your story and the links as well.
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I too find the commercialization offensive, and I am extremely empathetic with those who have and who are going through Chemo, Radiation and Surgery.
When donating money, time or your body to Cancer “Research”, please consider this:
Cancer is Big Business. Cures exist, but they are natural, “not patentable”, and will put Big Pharma out of the Cancer Business. We all know how Big Business deals with competition.
The three videos below we must watch and share in hope of bringing awareness and healing to cancer patients, not more profit to the Cancer Business :
1) The Forbidden Cures: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWLrfNJICeM
2) Burzinski: http://www.youtube.com/user/BurzynskiMovie
3) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6BpzWGUnAk
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I don’t know, I, personally already hate bras, as they leave me uncomfortable and often in pain after the first week of having them, even the ‘good’ bras, and at the end of the day they are so tender that I’m not even interested in checking myself as I know I should. Maybe ‘being free’ so to speak, is something that will make women pay more attention to their breasts, so that they will do their regular check ups on themselves and be able to say ‘Oh, that’s not a bruise, it’s a knot…’ so that they are able to take the next step, to know sooner if they might have breast cancer. I support no bras, I do not support pinkwashing and never will. Women, check yourselves often, you can learn so much when you just explore your body regularly, and sometimes it can save your lives.
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I am so glad to have read this. Thank you for sharing your experience and your perspective.
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Thank you for writing this post. I actually avoid buying stuff with the pink ribbon because some of the organizations it goes to support practices that are highly suspected to CAUSE breast cancer. If I’m going to donate to a cause, I’ve realized it’s best to donate directly to whomever is doing the most good. Thanks for the links!
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Hello. I am an Avon representative. If you are not aware, the Avon foundation for women supports breast cancer and domestic violence awareness. Every year walk are sponsored to raise funds for research and services. And the money goes to various organizations and medical facilities. The lists are on their site. http://Www.avonfoundation.org. We also sell fundraiser products through our representatives where 100% of net proceeds from these sales go to the foundation. Representatives do not earn commissions on these products. I’m sorry that you don’t support buying these products but I just wanted people to know that Avon gets that money to where it says it does.
And I certainly feel fortunate as I had a scare earlier this month that turned out to be fine.
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Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing the information about the Avon Foundation. I’m not against all pink products, just those pink products that serve certain companies far more than the people/causes they claim to be benefiting. Thank you for sharing the information about the Avon Foundation — I am glad it gets the money to the places it says it does, and I am grateful for all of the foundations/companies/organizations that do their best work for important for causes like this one.
I am so glad your scare turned out to be fine!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment and share this information!
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Thank you for your comments. I also dislike how it’s pushed everywhere as well.
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And the no bra day has got to be one of the stupidest things I have ever heard of!
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Thank you!! Glad I’m not alone on this one! 😉
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Wow. Initially I more than welcomed a “no-bra” day…but I was so selfish in welcoming such an idea that I never stopped to consider the perspective that truly matters most in this cause. Yours. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel ashamed of myself – as well perhaps I should.
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You are beautiful! Our stories are very similar and I too am very upset with all the pink out there. Continue to be strong and warrior on! Xoxo
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Thank you for your sharing the raw, honest and unvarnished truth about this crappy disease. Thank you, too, for bringing attention to metastatic breast cancer. I’ve been feeling very angry, lately, and I think that part of it is because I am being objectified and used as a marketing tool by a bunch of…dare I say it? Marketing Tools! I was dxd with Stage III C in 2009 at age 46 (I’d known something was wrong for several years before that, I chose to ignore it). In June, I found out it was back and in my spine. Keep doing what you are doing! It’s time the world sees and hopefully understands that breast cancer isn’t pretty and it certainly isn’t cotton candy pink.
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We just lost our 6 year old Granddaughter to brain cancer last month. Sept is childhood cancer awareness month, which I advocated for but could not get our local Pro teams ( Rangers and Cowboys ) to even display a yellow ribbon for the children. They have no problem supporting the tatas of course. There is just something that infuriates me about a bunch of men supporting BREAST cancer, go figure.
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I applaud you…for you willingness to write/post the ugliness of a bilateral mastectomy…yours more radical than mine!!! I am bra-less because of Inflammatory Breast Cancer and have no desire for reconstruction….
And, yes, it is too pinky out there…commercials that came out in September that had the sudo pink message…I’m like, really!!! I support individually when I purchase something–like a great T-shirt or hat, I know who gets the funds….then I support the organizations associated with IBC–directly to them…
And then I use my experience, and help other, talk with others, about breast cancer, especially about IBC….
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so glad to see IBC sisters posting. this post can help give us a voice too. Inflammatory Breast Cancer, nothing pink about it.
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Thank you for writing this! I myself had breast cancer, and had a bilateral mastectomy (with a tram flap reconstruction). As I was recovering from this disease, I lost my sister to it. Cancer is no joke. It is not pretty. It is a killer. And we are dying from it. Whereas I do have my pink “SURVIVOR” t-shirt, which I wear with pride because I am a champion, I am sick of the pretty baby pink blenders, trash cans, etc. It gets a little tiresome. It trivializes the issue in my opinion. Thank you also for the list of charities to take a look at. Take care of yourself!
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Thank you so much for this. I lost my grandmother to breast cancer and completely flipped when I saw the “no bra day” graphics going around. “Free the Tatas??” Sounds like some chauvinist’s idea of a joke: “Hey, let’s exploit women’s health to get chicks to walk around with no bras!” Thank you for such a personal response explaining why it is so offensive.
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Pingback: WOW!!!… And It’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month | cancerinmythirties
I completely agree with your post. While I have not gone through this myself (my grandmother passed from breast cancer) I knew that not wearing a bra wasn’t going to do anything to help fund research. Great post!
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