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***10/9/2013: I have been completely overwhelmed by the number of visitors this post has received in the past few days (over 130,000 at last count!). I am not sure who first shared it — or who continues to share it — but I want to THANK YOU all for visiting, reading, and sharing it. I think the realities of breast cancer are so often trivialized and “pinkified” so I am sincerely grateful to everyone who has taken the time to read or share my blog. I am sorry to say that my story is just one of many, but with your help, we may just be able to do something to change that. Please feel free to leave me a comment or to share your own story below — or send an email: cancerinmythirties@yahoo.com. Thank you all. ***
Peter Griffin / Family Guy “What Grinds My Gears” Episode
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I am not a ranter by any means and I have been pretty quiet about “Pinktober” and what has come to be known as “Pinkwashing” in breast cancer circles, but seeing October 13th advertised as “National No Bra Day” and as a “fun” way to support people with breast cancer has pushed me over the edge.
Are you kidding me? How on earth could a day where girls and women are encouraged to post and share photos of their braless breasts and to walk around with their nipples poking through their shirts be “supportive” for women who are living with or who have died from breast cancer, or who have managed to ‘complete’ the arduous treatments and disfiguring surgeries required to put them into remission?
I think the answer is simple. It is not.
Like so many women–and men–who have faced this disease, I have lost my breasts to cancer. Though I had a terrific surgeon, it was a physically and emotionally disfiguring surgery.
The cancer had gone so deep and was so extensive on my left side that it was at first inoperable. Even after months of chemo, my surgeon took as much tissue and skin as possible and went deep into my axilla (underarm area). The cancer had metastasized to my lymph nodes and had invaded them to such a degree that they broke open to allow the cancer cells to go beyond the walls of the nodes. Because of how invasive the surgery was and of how much nerve damage, etc. resulted, it was not only extremely painful then, but continues to be a source of pain and phantom sensations that affect my entire upper torso even today.
I required over a year of physical therapy just to be able to raise my arms again and I still don’t have full function or range of motion. And, because of pain, swelling, conspicuous compression sleeves and gloves, I am constantly reminded of the lymphedema that resulted from the surgery and loss of my lymph nodes. Oh, and the life-threatening infections that forced a couple of hospitalizations and four months of massive doses of antibiotics this summer (almost 2 years after my original surgery), are also a little reminder of some of the things that the bilateral mastectomy and lymph node surgeries have left me with. And there is so much more…
So the thought of seeing bra-less women flaunting two body parts that I have lost to cancer — more than I already see this on a regular day — does not feel all that supportive. In fact, it feels quite the opposite.
I think of myself as an open-minded person. I do my best not to judge others or their beliefs and ideals. I have a pretty good sense of humor and am usually the first to poke fun at myself. And I make light of breast cancer and my struggles, treatments and their side effects, lack of breasts, fear of death, etc. fairly frequently. It is how I cope. But, given what I have been through, I think I have earned the right to joke and make light of how this terrible disease has affected me. But if you haven’t been there or taken care of someone who has been there, then you should think twice before you publicize a day that jokes about putting the first body parts we usually lose to this disease “out there” on display even more conspicuously and then labeling it as an activity that helps our ’cause’.
We live in a society that makes a huge hoopla about breast cancer while at the very same time trivializing the seriousness of the disease. How can we be so contradictory?
While I am beyond thrilled that breast cancer is no longer a taboo issue and that people are talking about it, the commercialism has gotten out of hand. There is nothing pink and rosy about breast cancer, yet it has been pink-washed to death. It is a serious disease that kills.
And while I do think we need more awareness and education (about metastatic disease, about how young women CAN develop breast cancer, about how women (young and not so young) DO die from this disease, about the importance of research, etc.), I don’t think we need the kind of awareness that buying a jar of salsa with a pink ribbon on it brings. While I hardly ever see “awareness” products addressing the topics above, I can’t go anywhere without seeing pink products. Heck, I just have to look out of my front window to see giant pink garbage totes. 
The stores are filled with pink as companies try to make a buck off breast cancer. If you look carefully at these products, you’ll find that some of them don’t even donate a cent to breast cancer awareness, support, research, etc. And oftentimes those that do make a very minimal donation — and not always to organizations/programs where the money is well spent. Case in point — during a recent trip to my grocery store’s pink breast cancer section, I found (after reading the small print) that the maximum per item donation to the breast cancer “cause” was $0.35. An abysmal $0.35 for a $25.00 plastic coffee mug! And, guess what, once that $0.35 reaches “the cause,” a portion of it is lost to overhead, salaries and advertising costs.
One of the most unfortunate issues here is that well-meaning people are willing to buy pink products, even pay a little extra, because they think they are helping to do something to “cure” breast cancer or to provide “hope” to breast cancer patients. Why is this sad? Because those dollars spent on pink key chains, pink beer koozies, pink boxes of crackers and pink plastic water bottles could be going to fund research into metastatic disease, better (and less harmful) treatments, the elusive “cure” and, dare I say it, PREVENTION.
My intention is not to offend or to hurt the feelings of anyone who is genuinely trying to help, but I think it is important for you to know the truth. So please put your bra back on, put down those pink garbage bags (unless you really like pink that much!), that pink “awareness” pepper spray keychain, and that pink breast cancer “awareness” vibrator and dildo (yes, I’m blushing and yes, these are real things that their merchandisers say will “help you raise breast cancer awareness” — though they are shipped discretely in plain, unmarked boxes so no one knows what you purchased) and send a few dollars to an organization that devotes their fundraising dollars to research. You just have to do a bit of homework or read the labels on those pink items to see where your money is actually going. [There are pink products out there that do help to fund research, etc. — they seem to be in the vast minority, but they do exist.]
And, if you don’t like homework, here are a few great organizations — there are many others, but these are some of my favorites:
*** Metavivor.org ***: [A terrific organization…] From support groups to funding vital research, our programs sustain the power of hope. Passionately committed patients ourselves, we rally public attention to the urgent needs of the metastatic breast cancer (MBC) community, help patients find strength through support and purpose, and make EVERY dollar count as we work with researchers to regain longevity with quality of life.
*** http://www.standup2cancer.org/ ***: [Another great one — and it’s not just for breast cancer. Note that your donation will NOT be BREAST CANCER-specific, but will be directed toward multiple cancers. Since you are reading a breast cancer-specific post I know this may or may not be in line with your philanthropic goals, but if it is, SU2C is an excellent choice.] “Our mission is to fund collaborative, translational cancer research to bring treatments from the bench to the bedside faster, and save lives now.” Since Stand Up To Cancer was founded in May 2008, we have granted $161 Million Dollars to ten Dream Teams of scientists and researchers, one international translational research team and 26 high-risk, high-reward Innovative Research Grants. 100% of public funds go directly into research grants. A portion of the funds that are raised from major donations and third-party fundraising go towards administrative expenses and overhead.
Other Important Organizations:
***A number of people diagnosed in my age bracket have emailed or commented about how Young Survival Coalition (YSC) has helped them. This organization is the premier global organization dedicated to the critical issues unique to young women who are diagnosed with breast cancer. Founded in 1998, YSC’s mission is to serve the roughly 13,000 under 40 (often an under-recognized contingent of the breast cancer population) who are diagnosed with breast cancer each year.
YSC helps these young women by providing support and health information to see them from diagnosis to long-term survivorship. The nonprofit tackles issues specific to this population, like early menopause, effects on fertility, more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. From YSC, “compared to older women, young women generally face more aggressive cancers and lower survival rates. More and more evidence tells us that breast cancer before age 40 differs biologically from the cancer faced by older women.” Thus, the organization also advocates for increased studies on young women with breast cancer. YSC offers resources, connections and outreach so women feel supported, empowered and hopeful.
***If you are interested in making a difference for through an organization specifically targeting Inflammatory Breast Cancer, I recommend http://www.theibcnetwork.org/: Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) is a rare and highly fatal form of breast cancer that is not typically discovered by mammogram and often occurs prior to standard breast cancer screening age recommendations. Our all volunteer board is focused on education and funding research for this 200 year old orphaned form of breast cancer. No Lump Still Cancer.
…or consider a group that helps cancer patients and their families cope with their illness. For example:
CancerIsAJerk.org — This is a charity my dear friend jme set up to help families touched by cancer. You can make a financial donation or if you’d like to have a tangible something to wear to show your support, you can purchase a “Cancer Is a Jerk” t-shirts with all proceeds going to help actual families touched by cancer. You can also contact jme through the charity if you’d like to sell shirts as a fundraiser with all proceeds going to benefit cancer family applicants in general OR designate a specific family of your choosing.
And don’t underestimate the value of local organizations. My local Breast Cancer Coalition is a perfect example. The Breast Cancer Coalition of Rochester‘s mission is to make the eradication of breast cancer a priority through education and advocacy; to empower women and men to participate fully in decisions relating to breast cancer; to provide support to those coping with a breast cancer diagnosis; and to focus research into the causes, prevention, treatment and cure of breast cancer.
Also local for me is The Karen Carson Crane Foundation. Founded by Karen’s siblings after she died of breast cancer, the mission of the Karen Carson Crane Foundation (“the KCC Foundation”) is to provide support and financial assistance for individuals affected by breast cancer; to encourage breast cancer patients to have the strength, courage and passion to overcome their disease; to support local organizations that assist breast cancer patients; and to donate a portion of its fundraising dollars to organizations that research and promote alternative cancer treatment methods.
There are many other great organizations and groups out there — these are just a few.
And if you can’t help with a financial donation, consider volunteering your time or talents. Perhaps to local cancer patients — bringing a meal or knitting a chemo cap or scarf, or sending a cozy blanket are examples of ways to show your support. I remember when a small box of craft supplies was left on my doorstep when I was first going through chemo — what a gift that was — my kids loved it and it kept them occupied for a little while when I was really ill! Or consider volunteering (or providing non-financial support) at/for a local cancer center, hospital oncology floor, or for an organization that helps cancer patients and/or their families. [If you need help with finding a place to volunteer, etc in your area, please email me with your town/city name & I will do my best to help…]. There are many ways to show your support that don’t require $$.
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And, of course, don’t forget to go for your regular mammograms and to feel your breasts when you can (and report any changes to your doctor) because doing these things IS important. It — what I can loosely call a self-breast exam (but which was really just washing myself in the shower) — is how I found my own lumps, about 17 years before I was due for my first mammogram (according to the recommended screening age back in 2009). If I had ignored my lumps and waited for that first screening mammogram, I can safely say I would have been long dead! So please pay attention to your body and your breasts. While the vast majority of lumps are benign, I still believe it’s always best to bring your breast changes to the attention of your doctor. Thanks for reading…
I will leave you with a picture that I believe is my best advertisement for Breast Cancer Awareness Month:
- Me — 5 Days post bilateral mastectomy and complete ALND (Axillary Lymph Node Dissection)
Side note: The ACTUAL National No Bra Day is July 9th annually. Someone had the great idea to do a braless day during October — Breast Cancer Awareness Month — to support “the cause.” Adding insult to injury, the day they chose — October 13th — is actually the one day out of the whole year designated for Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness. Sadly, I’ve seen far more No Bra Day awareness advertising circulating around the web than I have Metastatic Breast Cancer Awareness Day info.
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And P.S. — because it seems that clarification is needed for some — this post is NOT about a woman’s choice to wear a bra or not wear a bra. Those comments miss the boat completely. And I do not need a lecture on the merits of going braless. Wear a bra. Don’t wear a bra. That is your choice. Just don’t choose to not wear a bra on one specific day and call it an effort to benefit breast cancer patients or to advance breast cancer research. Raising BREAST AWARENESS you may be, but you are not “supporting BREAST CANCER” by leaving your bra at home.
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cancer in my thirties 
I too shy away from all the Pink stuff and know my friends and family only have the best intentions. It is also possibly the way they get through dealing with my breast cancer experience. Unlike you I was so very fortunate. I had gone in for a breast reduction and they found Lobular Carcinoma In Situ, from there on I had an MRI and Diagnostic Mammogram every six months (close observation). Less than 13 months later after my MRI they found DCIS which is considered Stage 0. No lymph node invasion, but I said take them both and give me a new matching set. These decisions were done after much careful research on my part. I absolutely will share my story nor am I in anyway embarrassed to share if it helps someone to become their own best health advocate! I thank you for sharing your breast cancer experience. Everyone tries telling me that I am a survivor but I truly do not feel that way as I didn’t have to endure the chemo, radiation or any meds. You my friend are an inspiration to all!! Again, thank you for your story and insight into the world of “Pink”.
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I pray for you as you continue to fight this disease! I’m so glad to finally see something said by someone who actually has been battling breast cancer. I find some of the gimmicks and “support” ideals to be absolutely ridiculous and I’m glad to have you finally put some of those people in their place. Keep fighting girl!
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Wow. You are bang on. Thank you for speaking the truth. Quite frankly, I am tired of seeing “pink”. But what can I say, right. It is actually hardening me against fund raising. I have not had cancer so to speak out would be well, not good. Honestly, I think people get all caught up in the hype because it makes THEM feel better, not because they are really trying to make the world a better place. I laugh at this “no bra day” crap. Why, because every day is a no bra day for me! I just don’t physically need to wear one. A sports bra for specific activities is the max.
Yep, your picture is the true one about cancer. You are one gutsy lady with a lot of strength.
Wheat grass. Researchers should start looking at this stuff if they are really serious about cures for cancer. I have personally seen the positive results. And that is all I will say about that. People can research it themselves.
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Thank you! I am printing this out and giving it to my mother (She does not have internet). She is two time breast cancer survivor. She got no support when she went through it. She mostly did it alone. Where were all these people to help her? I say the best way to support breast cancer is donate directly to charities like you listed or find someone you know personally and offer them help like bringing them a meal or watching their children or cleaning their house or just being a friend to them. This is what I have and will continue to do. I wish someone would have thought to do that for my mother.
She hates all this pink stuff. Hates it. I asked her about how she felt about it before. She is the toughest woman I know. She had to pay for her own breast removal and reconstruction due to her insurance being jerks. She was lucky enough to have the money. So many women cannot afford to pay for reconstruction or are not a candidate for it so flaunting your cute boobs braless is not supporting woman like that, it is slapping them in the face with what they have lost.
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Very well said, young lady. You are in my prayers.
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Thank you for your openness and honesty. I’ll not go into detail..you have and are living the same ones. I walked with my wife along the same journey for 14 years before she died. She was no fan of pinkness.
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I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story. I agree as a woman living with thyroid cancer that breast cancer as well as other cancers should be thoroughly educated in our country. These ads and all this pink do not educate about the seriousness that is cancer. It gives a false sense of helping. Breast cancer runs in my family so its a cause I care about but I just can’t help but feel its more important that women (and men!) Know more about the disease and just how nasty it is rather than pinkifying everything and making it cute. Go out, support some family or person going through the struggle of battling cancer. Its a tough emotional, and often painful road (expensive too) and not everyone survives the battle. I lost my grandpa to lymphoma, my aunt who survived breast cancer later died with rhabdomyosarcoma & my grandma who survived breast cancer at the young age of 37 died two years ago with liver cancer. I watched these three beautiful people struggle to hold on to every breath and they were fighting a losing battle! People are dying every day with cancer. Let’s really work to find a cure and not just have a false sense of hope!!
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I, too am a thyroid cancer survivor. I’m tired of “Pinktober.” I would rather see more money going to research for ALL cancers.
I was actually told by a doctor that I had the “good” cancer- in that it is easy to treat and the surgery was simple. What I wasn’t told was that I would have to deal with medication every day- for the rest of my life- and nearly crippling side-effects if the medication was off even by a few micro-grams. NO cancer is good.
I can’t see how buying pink cereal or soup helps me. I am tired of manufacturers and politicians trivializing the impact of cancer on the general public. I don’t need a pink bicycle helmet or a pink sweatshirt, or pink coffee mugs. I need research, I need doctors. I need education. I need people to understand how cancer effects my life and my family.
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my doctor actually said the same thing…that thyroid cancer is “good” in that it is easily treatable. They must teach that in med school. Too bad they don’t teach more compassion. FYI I spent 8 years post surgery trying to get “balanced” until I switched to Armor thyroid, now I’m finally stable again.
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Iodine intake very important. Also D from sunlight, selenium, and magnesium for a strong immune system. ,
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Jessica,
As a survivor of thyroid cancer myself, your reply was right on. My doctor said the same thing, that thyroid cancer is the “best” cancer. Like there is a cancer that is “good”. I think every month should be cancer awareness.
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Thank you for putting into words what this really does. I don’t have cancer – I’m simply someone who supports those who do, and who wants the REAL truth out there – not this pink stuff. You ROCK!
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I am a 2 time breast cancer survivor as well (28 & 33)… Have had every chemo & surgery you mentioned and then some. Still on medications and thankful for everyday I have. I agree totally on the no bra day? Who even thought of that? And companies capitalizing are terrible….. But most people going out and wearing pink I feel are trying to do something to show some honor & support… And that has made this amazing awareness about breast cancer. There are some other good foundations and look at how many people you have touched & educated with your blog. I know every emotion you have gone through right now…. I have a pic just like yours:). And when I see your pic I see a beautiful woman & tremendous courage. I know the strength to get yourself there mentally while the doctors take apart your body piece by piece- taking away what makes you a “woman”… I Had to finally get a complete hysterectomy…. I had failing reconstruction due to radiation the first time around. And I will always be self conscious about my body. But I’m
Not complaining — you also know the desire to live-no matter what. I know the pain in your heart about the people you have met along the way who haven’t survived- and then you ask yourself why? I know what it feels like to look at your 1 year old child and pray to God to let you live because he needs you…. This disease is painful to you & loved ones. And the sad thing now is that it’s all over …. Education is best. Many survivors hate pink- a mother I know of a daughter who passed had a very similar blog as yours. And I just keep in perspective that the consumers or communities are trying to honor survivors or feel like they can help in any way… So try to think of them rather than any greedy companies. And continue to use your platform to educate people on the organizations that truly help. Almost anyone can find one in their local communities anymore- like the one your friend created- how kind. And how awesome the rate this blog is spreading! You are smart & very right on about people capitalizing- but that will
Continue- keep educating & supporting newly diagnosed women. Your story is a great one…….
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This is Awesome!! Y’all keep it up! My Grandmother had breast cancer at 64 years old! She is now 82 and still Cancer Free!!! Also my Grand baby’s other Grand mother has also Beat Cancers Butt!! God Bless all of you who are fighting the Fight!! I pray You Kick Cancers Butt as well!! 🙂 Happy Pinktober!!!
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Great article, thank you for writing it! My heart goes out to you. The pinkification of breast cancer, and the profit mongering have gotten to me, too, and my diagnosis was only a little over a month ago. The bra-less initiative is based on good sense (wearing them restricts the flow of lymph which is important for removing toxins from the breasts, and that should be included in the promotions) but I agree it’s insensitive to say the very least. It goes hand in hand with the bumper sticker I saw on a pickup truck the other day with a pink ribbon background. It read: Save the Ta-Tas…sigh.
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Also metal underwiring can amplify electromagnetic fields. Iodine essential for breast and thyroid health. Avoid aluminum containing anti-perspirants.
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I teach physics and I’m pretty sure metal shields from electromagnetic fields. That’s why you don’t get cell phone signal in the elevator.
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I was going to say the same about bras-they are not healthy. Although I dislike all the product pushing when it comes to fundraising, the cheeky or insensitive ‘Save the Ta-tas’ raises funds for independent research: http://savethetatas.info/
I like this post on pinkwashing: http://butterbeliever.com/i-will-not-be-pinkwashed-why-i-do-not-support-susan-g-komen-for-the-cure/
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Thank you for your frank and honest discussion. I am a bra fitter who is also licensed as a post-mastectomy and prosthesis fitter. I see the reality of breast cancer every day, and I am glad you have chosen to share your story to help raise awareness. I also have problems with “no bra day”…because as a bra fitter, I know that many women who are fuller busted need to wear bras for comfort. Cancer is the enemy, not bras. Instead, I have opted to show a tightly cropped picture of my breasts in a bra on Facebook. The intention is in no way to be “sexy”, or to “flaunt”, and it is my sincere hope that it is not construed as such. My hope is that other women who felt comfortable doing so, especially women who DON’T have breasts, who wear prosthesis, and who bear scars from surgery would also feel compelled to join in, to show people the reality of breast cancer. It just so happens that I still have breasts, but were I not in that position, I would still proudly show my body, because my womanhood is NOT defined by whether or not I have breasts. That being said, from my dialogues with women fighting breast cancer, every woman’s experience differs, and I absolutely, utterly respect that. I have also written a piece about pinkwashing at my blog, and I welcome you all to read my thoughts and offer feedback. Thank you again for a tremendous article, I am glad that there are women like yourself willing to share these feelings and information and truths. We all benefit from it. I wish you good health and recovery, and peace in your life. http://www.babsthebrafitter.com/i-am-not-my-breasts-revisited-a-post-about-breast-cancer/
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Thank you so much for conveying exactly what I feel. As a survivor, the entire pink October thing is a bit much for me. Way too much. The trash cans, the pizza boxes, etc …. too much.
Well said!
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Thanks for sharing the story. The National Breast Cancer Coalition and the Young Survival Coalition are also great resources for the ‘real’ issues like the ones you mentioned. Congrats on your survivorship thus far.
Survivor since January 31, 2001. Diagnosed at age 33.
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My grandmother and my mother had double mastectomies, my sister would have if she had gone to her doctor, she didn’t. Gran and Mom have passed away, but cancer did not kill them. Kathy has also passed, the cancer did. Her breast cancer metastasized to her spine, she lost the use of her legs. I received the phone call telling me about the surgery to remove the tumor from her spine and that it was from her breast cancer, I didn’t know she had cancer. I live on the East coast, she was on the West coast. I knew she had issues with doctors, but I didn’t think it would stop her from seeking treatment for the disease. I miss these women, they were a very important part of my life. I get yearly mammograms, I have two daughters Someday there maybe a break-through and a cure. Thank you for sharing your journey, breast cancer is not fun and games and shouldn’t be treated as a once-a-year awareness project. Breast cancer is a year-round monster.
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Phew…finally a voice of common sense to break through all the nonsense. Good for you.
I say if you want to help a person with breast cancer go to where they are. Drive them to the doctor and stay with them or not. Make up an excuse for why you have to be there in the first place so they don’t feel like they are imposing on you. Take their kids to soccer practice because youj’re taking your kid there anyway. Pick up some stuff at the grocery store cause you got to go shopping anyway. While your visiting throw a load of laundry in, wash the floor, take in the mail, cook a dinner. I wish I had done more of this when I had the chance to for my sister. I think this is way more helpful than the walks.
Not that they are bad but I think there must be enough money to pay the outstanding bills of every cancer patient that ever lived. I know research is extremely necessary and helpful but does anyone follow how all that is used? Can you imagine how much is made on chemotherapy, radiation & all that comes with cancer treatment? And still people get misdiagnosed every day.
7 women in my family history including grandparents, parents and siblings have had breast cancer. 2 died from it. When I called to schedule a mammogram yesterday I said I thought I feel a change in one breast. I asked for the ultra sound instead of the mammogram because I know it only finds 60 percent of the cancer it is meant to screen for. The women said “Oh then you have to ask your doctor to refer you for a “diagnostic mammogram” instead of a general mammogram. Can you believe that!? Shouldn’t every mammogram be a diagnostic one!?!?!! And they were the ones who told me to get the ultra sound instead of the mammogram in the first place! Sigh everything is dictated by the insurance company. It’s frustrating. After all the women and men who have died from this!
Huuuuh? Whoops! Now I’m ranting and raving….ha ha ha sorry….it’s contagious. (:
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The cancer walks are not the problem. They are done by charities and organizations who give most, if not all, of the profit directly to cancer research, which is necessary if there is ever going to be a cure for cancer. I agree that the products that are marketed without donating to research/education are the problem. They are preying on people by making feel they are doing something good.
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Thank you so much for your courage to take the time to educate us! I thought the ” No Bra Day” was cute because I hate bras. Being a very busty female, I’ve considered them torture! After reading your blog, I don’t consider it as cute. I’m a firm supporters of breast cancer education & you have really given me a better insight. My prayers are with you!!
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A no-bra day that would make sense would be mastectomy patients posting photos of their chests. Of course those would be banned.
Effing cancer.
Effing Pinktober.
Jamie
@ibeatcancrtwice
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GOD Bless you Jamie, I am considered a patient/survivor because they can not do the test to make sure it is gone. I see the doctor every three months to keep track of my tumor marker. Last December I chose quality over quantity, because of the side effects of being on females for 10 years. Sharing our stories are just as good for us as information to others, it has a healing effect in our minds and maybe in someway our bodies. If yo ever just need to talk or anything else, just email me at rshamric@yahoo.com. I believe that God has a plan, we just don’t know or understand what it could be. Mine was to teach my boys compassion, my middle son, who is married now, his wife was diagnosed with MS, it taught him how to still be a loving husband who stands by his wife no matter what.
May God bless you and your always!
Sharron, TX
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After having suffered through a bout of cancer that few people know about (gestational trophoblastic disease), that caused the loss of a pregnancy and caused an immediate TAH/BSO/LND–I feel you. Walking around forced to see what you lost is an incredibly painful daily reminder. You have my best wishes!
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My 19 year old brother has decided to a half-marathon fundraiser on his own. All the money donated will go to the local community clinic that offers vouchers for mammograms for women who do not have insurance and can’t afford it. If anyone would like to support (and I’m not talking about financially only, just getting more “likes” would be very encouraging) him please like his page https://www.facebook.com/Michaels13.1Miles
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Great blog entry. Thanks so much for sharing and giving pause to the hoopla. Nothing like a dose of reality to give proper perspective. I will promptly remove my “rose colored glasses” about the subject in order to see more clearly and actually be more supportive. Thanks!
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Thank you for writing this! I have to be honest, I’m not a fan of Pink-tober lately either, but for my own selfish and jealous reasons. Last year at age 39 I was diagnosed with invasive cervical cancer that had spread to my lymph system – and it was a rare type that is a combination of different cancers with about a 35% chance of recurrence. I kept up with my (always normal) paps, and was one year removed from my last all clear. After 2 minor surgeries, 1 major surgery and extended hospital stay, and one suspected recurrence and I finally got my first all clear. 6 months later, my doctor found a suspicious lump in my breast – one urgent mammogram and 2 long weeks of waiting later, I received the all clear. When I was researching both, I was struck at how little information there was out there about cervical cancer – unless you have the most common type – and how much information there was about breast cancer. So every October and January (cervical cancer awareness month), I get a little (ok, maybe a lot) jealous of the momentum, visibility and openness there is with regards to breast cancer awareness. I can only hope that someday cervical cancer also loses its stigma and women aren’t afraid to talk about pap smears and HPV. I also hope to one day get as annoyed with teal and white ribbons everywhere as I do with the pink ones. Either way, I absolutely feel for anyone dealing with cancer. Best wishes to you and I hope you continue to kick cancer’s butt. Cancer’s a vicious, nasty, peace-of-mind-stealing beast no matter what type it is.
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Thank you for taking the time to express what so many (including me) are thinking. I have wondered many times if I was just over sensitive because I was a breast cancer survivor. Why isn’t there just a month for cancer awareness? No one cancer is “more important” than another. I was in disbelief when I first was the no bra day on facebook. REALLY!!! Why don’t we all just go topless!! 🙂 Keep up the fight and the positive attitude, they will take you far!
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As a Cancer Survivor and having a bilateral mastectomy myself, I’ve had to go through counseling because of the emotional and physical pain I went through and I had no family support. I turned my life over to GOD and have been wearing pink since. I guess my question is how is this different than any other cancer that gets the attention and awareness. I can say today that I’m not ashamed of being a survivor of breast cancer, nor am I ashamed of losing both of my breast to it. I see things on the brighter positive side. I am grateful that I am still breathing and that I still have my life. Still from time to time I see women with big boobs and think Hmmm are them real or is she a survivor too. My very close friends I joke with them and say “Lets trade”..Than we laugh about it. Life is to short to let things like this bring you down, (the color of pink, women running around without bras). We can’t control what other women do, and when I see a women or man wearing pink in October I grin because they aren’t ashamed to get the word out there. October is one month out of the year. My message to those that have a hard time coping and dealing with it as I did in 2005 or those that lost a loved one to the terrible disease, seek out counseling and support groups it helps and works if you allow it to. God Bless!!!
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Well said Carolyn.
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I think makes you think about your Breast everyday
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I understand and sympathize. I am a 25 year survivor of a double mastectomy (done one side at a time, eight months apart). The second time I was in the hospital with a woman who was having a tummy tuck and liposuction because her stomach was getting “pouchy”. She was screaming in pain for 2 days, and getting all kinds of attention. I was there, going through all that comes with a second mastectomy and asked to leave the hospital early and go home to recover. I really couldn’t stand being in the same room with Ms. tummy tuck. I also felt that hospitals should be more careful about who they put together, under the circumstances, and that it was ludicrous to have the tummy-tuck and the second mastectomy together. I have lobular carcinoma, which is fairly rare to have in the breast, and I also had a staph infection 2 weeks post-op the first time around, which resulted in additional surgery. I don’t know what I think about Pinktober, though. I have mixed feelings. Yes, it has gone overboard in some cases, but it has raised awareness, and if even 1 person has been saved because of that awareness, it is worth it, in my opinion.
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I am reposting this on my cancer journey blog: folkladysadventures.blogspot.com. I posted similarly on Oct. 1, but I love your honest and sassy approach! My best to you on your journey – Ronda
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Tired of pink-washing and the breast cancer establishment, most of which spends not a single dime to look into causation. There’s real research into causes but many of the companies underwriting ‘pinktober’ and other publicity events are themselves producing carcinogenic products. We need better cures and we need FAR BETTER prevention. This is at epidemic levels and there are groups who don’t want prevention in the mix.
Thank you for this essay.
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I am a 38 year survivor, diagnosed @ 21 while pregnant with my first child. It was back in the days of “slash and burn”. Pregnancy terminated, breast and nodes removed. Radiated so much that my entire chest wall sloughed off the day after my last treatment. Sent home to get my “affairs in order” Instead I went on to have two children, breastfed both of them. Took my prosthesis off for good when I was 38, along with my bra as much of the research points to the lymphatic constriction of bra wearing adding to the incidence of breast cancer number rising rapidly. So I am a one breasted almost 60 year old who most days does not wear a bra, not to make any one else feel bad about what I or they have lost, but for comfort and to protect my remaining breast from the disease in any small way that I can. This also includes avoiding estrogen disrupting plastics and products, eating organic and using supplements that might help prevent any further cancers. The American cancer society is not interested in halting this or any other cancer as that would put them out of a very lucrative job. Pink stinks as far as I am concerned.
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This is the thing – bras (at least underwire bras) are undermining breast health – I too am one breasted and have stopped wearing the prosthesis, partly because it is uncomfortable, partly because I’m concerned about restricting my already damage lymph drainage.
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Thanks so much for this post as I was diagnosed at age 25. It has definitely been glamorized! Your story is awesome and your a strong woman!
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I am so sorry you have had to go through such trauma, but I thank you for sharing your perspective and photo. I have no experience with breast cancer, but the “cuteness” of certain advocacy campaigns has always bothered me.
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Reading this blog has encouraged me to keep and go to my first mammogram scheduled for next week. I’ve always cancelled in the past but you have inspired me to take the subject more seriously and follow through. Thank you for your courage and well stated feelings. I wish you all the best!
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Thank you for your post. I’ve never had breast cancer myself, but my maternal grandmother died from it when I was an infant – her doctors didn’t even acknowledge that she had a disease until it was stage IV. My boyfriend’s mother is a two-time survivor. One of my good friends lost his mother to it about ten years ago, and another friend’s mother who is currently going through chemo just survived a heart attack that was brought on by treatment.
While I definitely think the breast cancer “awareness” merchandising has gone too far in a lot of ways (“No Bra Day” and “save the boobies” wristbands are just tacky and offensive to the memory of my grandmother), my friend who lost his mother loves wearing pink in October because it helps him cope with the loss. It’s a way to celebrate her memory while doing something positive. My family and my boyfriend’s family aren’t very big on pink branding ourselves, but I do see the value in it.
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Thank you for this post…for sharing your “rant.” I’ve never had cancer (unless you include the twice-annual or so basal cell removals I’ve been having for the last 20+ years) but I have lost numerous family members and friends (including my father, a favorite uncle and two favorite aunts) to a variety of cancers and I count numerous survivors among my friends and loved ones (including both mother-in-law and father-in-law).
Thank you for being so candid about your experience. It’s so true. No cancer can be tied into a nice little pink box (or purple or any other pretty little colorful ribbon) and that be that, all well and good. Cancer is mean and ugly and hateful and, as you sort of pointed out, sometimes, it’s also BIG MONEY. That’s great when it’s BIG MONEY toward real, productive research. Not so great when it’s BIG MONEY touting awareness but instead lining the pockets of tricky tricksters out to make a buck at any cost.
I especially like the quick cheatsheet you’ve provided of real organizations making a real difference. I’m definitely going to share this info again and again. And I’m going to be wearing my bra all the while…
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Thank you thank you thank you for this. I wrote something similar as well… though not from the more profound view of someone living with cancer. The pinkwashing and minimizing of this very serious illness is quite unbelievable to me. You are courageous – as so many people in my life are.
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I have already lost two good friends to cancer–one was 35 and one was 42. Would taking off my bra do a goddamn thing to ensure that no other families suffer as theirs did? Would buying pink plastic crap bring four little girls their mothers back?!! GAHHHHHHH
Thank you for this post. And for what it’s worth, I think you are beautiful.
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You are beautiful for sharing this story. My best friend battles breast cancer and my grandmother did. I whole heartedly agree that pink, no bra, etc doesn’t make it any easier. I think the real reason people do things like that is because they feel so helpless watching people they love so much suffer. I don’t participate in the pink things. Both women I love said they would not like to be a spectacle. So I’m thanking you for having the courage to give a small glimmer of your true experience to help those of us who just want to know how to support those we love.
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Thank you for saying what so many people effected by breast cancer are thinking! My mother has been battling breast cancer for 5 years and she is not a fan of the pink reminders. She is especially not a fan of the way that people take advantage of the illness so that they can do things and say things that would normally be considered inappropriate. Our whole family is thankful for the support of our friends and extended family. That is the best support that people can give if they don’t have the funds to donate directly.
Thank you for your bravery and sharing your story!
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You are amazing.
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Thank you for this post. It was shared on MyBCTeam.com in a comment thread where everyone was pretty annoyed by the National No Bra Day campaign. see details here (but you have to login):
http://www.mybcteam.com/users/51a08a531fcaa3514a000fc5/posts/5252a5aa1fcaa3f11b0001a7
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I remember working in a broadcast newsroom the day that word of major research results on breast cancer came over the AP wire. British researchers had found that elective abortion increases the risk of breast cancer by 150%. We put the bombshell news on the air right away, but the story was “killed” within an hour. Since then, I , too, am disgusted by the hoopla and even more by the fake terms “awareness” and “research”.
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From your port scar to the drain bulbs filled with fluid, I see my wife’s struggles in your photos. She also has a compression sleeve & glove, and we are hoping to receive a donor pump to automate the massage that her PT was providing until coverage ran out. I agree that instead of buying pink key chains or other trinkets, donate a few dollars to cancer research instead. There are more drugs like Herceptin waiting to be discovered, which will save more lives than a bumper sticker ever will.
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I want to know who the moron was that came up with this campaign. What made them think this was a good way to bring awareness to Breast Cancer. Yes we are talking about it but Holy Moley. There has not been this much bad buzz since the Koman debacle. A friend on facebook had it right. “I’ve yet to see a “Swing Your Dick Day” for prostate cancer.”
My best wishes go out to you and others living with and fighting cancer.
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Suffice to say, I too have never understood the Pink and will be keeping my bra on and my chest modestly covered as we Muslims do…respect for all women. Thank you for sharing your painful story. May Allah bless you in this life and the hereafter.
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I want to hug you. Then give you a high five. Then take you out for a drink. Then another hug. Thank you for this amazing post.
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Thank you for writing this.
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Great blog post, really made me focus some of the thoughts I had on the subject. Thanks, and God bless.
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I am lucky enough not to have battled cancer. But, I have loved people who have. But, honestly, the disease is horrible enough that even if we aren’t impacted by immediate connections, we can all hate it! The pinkification has been a frustration for me for years. Thank you for putting it so eloquently. I make a donation every October to the American Cancer Society and then overtly avoid buying anything pinkified. This year I will make the donation to one of the organizations you respect and in your honor. Thank you for your eloquence. Thank you for your bravery. And, I’m really sorry that this shitty disease has so directly impacted you. Peace and good health. So glad that your works are being heard so far and wide.
Sarah J.
Chicago, IL
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